The Thing You Do That You Don't Even Know You Do: The Book Series #8
Feminist Wellness
Béa Victoria Albina
4.9 • 988 Ratings
🗓️ 23 September 2025
⏱️ 10 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Have you ever found yourself lying awake at 3 AM, replaying conversations and wondering if you said the wrong thing? Or maybe you're that friend who can read a room in seconds, sensing every mood shift before anyone else notices?
Here's the thing - that's not just being "super empathetic." It might be something deeper called emotional outsourcing.
Your hypervigilance, your people-pleasing, your chronic anxiety about other people's moods - those are wonderful, amazing survival strategies that once kept little you safe, but are now keeping grown you small.
This is exactly why I wrote my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits, to give you a roadmap back to your own inner knowing.
Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina. |
| 0:18.3 | I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and |
| 0:21.8 | codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love. Let's get started. |
| 0:29.8 | I had a client, Teresa, who used to say she was just gifted, like super naturally intuitive. |
| 0:36.7 | She'd call herself the human equivalent of a mood |
| 0:39.1 | ring, because she could read a room in 0.2 seconds, feel someone's energy shift through a text |
| 0:44.3 | message, detect disappointment before the other person even knew they were disappointed. |
| 0:49.7 | She was basically the emotional version of a bomb-sniffing dog, except instead of explosives, |
| 0:54.9 | she was detecting the possibility that someone might not like her, might be grumpy with her, |
| 1:00.3 | might not be anything other than thrill. |
| 1:03.8 | And to that, everyone around her said, oh my goodness, Teresa, you're so empathetic. |
| 1:13.8 | You are such a good friend. You always know exactly what people need. Why? And that was cool. Except here's the thing nobody talks about. Teresa wasn't just |
| 1:21.7 | being empathetic. Of course, she was being empathetic. She was being a good friend. She loved her friends. |
| 1:26.2 | But really at her core, she was being strategic. The way those who are empathetic, she was being a good friend, she loved her friends, but really at her core, |
| 1:29.1 | she was being strategic. The way those of us with codependent perfectionists and people |
| 1:33.3 | pleasing habits will, she wasn't just tuning into people because she cared about their feelings. |
| 1:38.3 | And of course she cared about their feelings, but she was tuning into people because her nervous |
| 1:42.5 | system had decided that other people's emotions were her early warning system for whether she was tuning into people because her nervous system had decided that other people's emotions |
| 1:45.2 | were her early warning system for whether she was about to get emotionally nuked or not. |
| 1:50.8 | There was this one night, and she described it to me with such clarity that I could feel it in my |
| 1:55.4 | own chest and bones. She was lying in bed at 3 a.m. doing her nightly anxiety audit. |
| 2:01.2 | You know the one. |
... |
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