Hi there. Thanks for coming. Welcome to Doma Punk's New York. I'm Josh and if you'd like to support my work of course as a pastor the

Venmo is darma punks with an ex-nyc, so thank you for that. Tonight I'm going to be talking about secrets.

Sometimes a topic that comes up in the counseling work I do and also it's a topic that's always

relevant in the journey of healing recovery recovery, it's an important consideration,

understanding the toll they take on our well-being, reminding us that we are,

as a species, pack find safety in numbers and we thrived due to our ability to cement robust affiliations that would help us not only secure protection from predators, but also developed

through social organizations

ways to survive, inclement environments, and so forth.

So as pack animals, we have, our brain is a social organ. What it does is it rewards us for positive

connections with others that build up trust and affiliation.

And because of these, this wiring,

anterior cingulate cortex, both right and left hemispheres,

we experience pride and joy when we feel well bonded with others.

And on the other hand, we experience negative effects like shame and guilt

when we in some way act from antisocial motives or we expect some form

of social exclusion or rejection to happen.

Our nervous systems, in other words, are not self-contained.

Our emotions are regulated in connection with others.

And there's various terms that clinicians use like neuroception and limb-based

resonance and what they mean is that the bulk of our emotion regulation and the way that we feel safer in the world and we feel

relaxed occurs in the nonverbal signaling back and forth

of our internal experience through our tone of voice,

...