The Royals!
Titus Podcast
Christopher Titus
4.6 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 17 January 2020
⏱️ 81 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this day, the armageddon update, towards the #tituspodcast, Sir duke of comedy and tragedy Christopher Todd Titus the 3rd of Newark, eloquent Bombshell Rae, and young scribe Kenneth, discuss the beautiful and quaint Kate Middleton... and NOT that harlot of a sister-in-law, Meghan Markle! Prepareth to square! I shall heave the gorge on thy livings, naughty British mushrump!
The titus podcast, because the w'rld is a clown showeth!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You know, it's really Jello Johnson for the Titus podcast. |
| 0:12.2 | That's right, brought to you today by Harry's Raisers. |
| 0:14.7 | The best raisers money can buy for very little money. |
| 0:17.5 | Go to harriers.com forward slash Titus to get your amazing deal. |
| 0:21.3 | Do it now. |
| 0:22.3 | And now with the Armageddon update, Mr. Christopher Titus. |
| 0:27.9 | I'm Christopher Titus, and this is the Armageddon update. |
| 0:30.9 | And today we are going to deal with a world-shaking, possibly species and planet-extincting |
| 0:36.5 | problem that needs to be addressed. |
| 0:39.0 | The infighting royal family. |
| 0:40.7 | I mean, look at them, huh? |
| 0:41.8 | Can't get along because the whitest super gingery prince on the planet married a mixed-race actress girl. |
| 0:47.4 | Now, I don't know if they're racist because they don't want the royal family to have a half-black girl |
| 0:53.5 | or because she's an actress and an American and nobody wants that in the royal family to have a half-black girl, or because she's an actress and an |
| 0:55.5 | American, and nobody wants that in the royal family. But I will say, they're not a whole lot of |
| 1:00.1 | Chinese, Indian-African babies running around Buckingham Palace. Now, Prince Harry's brother |
| 1:06.3 | William said, I've put my armor on my brother his whole life, but I can't any longer. |
| 1:12.0 | Ah. You know what I love is that no matter how big a crown you wear, you can still be white |
| 1:17.5 | trash. Now, if you're English, and this makes you mad, I don't really care. And listen, Brits, |
| 1:23.9 | I get that we Americans are coarse, low, rent, loud, obnoxious, crude, and ignorant, |
| 1:28.4 | and you're welcome. |
| 1:29.9 | But for you to not like this prince's wife, the lovely and sweet Megan Mark, well, come on, |
... |
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