Well here at Focus, we're aware that you might be in a blended family.

And even if it's a great situation, we know it's probably got some difficulties, especially if children

are part of the mix.

I'm John Fuller, along with Greg and Aaron Smalley.

They lead the Marriage Department here, and Focus President Jim Daly spoke to Ron Deal who has spent

years working with blended couples and families and today Ron talks about how to

become better friends with your new spouse's kids.

Well, I guess one of the things too is the observation temperamentally of how all the kids are

dealing with the trauma of that loss.

And they're, you know, I'm a optimistic extrovert so I'm happy I can make it I'm getting along

another child may respond differently to that where they literally for years

will carry the burden of that situation and they don't get out of it.

And you've got to be in tune with that as a parent or a step parent.

Yes, one of the things we teach step parents

is pace with the child.

Pace is meet them where they are.

I hate to say it, but you often get the short end of the stick

as a step parent.

They're asking you to

cook meals and do their laundry and take them to soccer practice and yet they

don't really give you their heart. They don't really allow you into the

inner part of their life. They just sort of ask stuff from you.

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