The Real Reason Sex Feels Like Pressure Instead of Pleasure

Sex With Emily

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.3 • 6.8K Ratings

🗓️ 5 May 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode live recording of Sex With Emily, I break down what’s really getting in the way of your pleasure, from the way most of us were taught about sex to why so many people feel disconnected, pressured, or stuck in their heads during intimacy. I explain how performance-based thinking replaces sensation, why desire changes over time, and what it actually takes to build trust with your body again. We also get into how to communicate what you want with a partner, how to bridge the gap between solo pleasure and partnered sex, and why slowing down is the key to feeling more present and connected. If you’ve ever felt like something is off in your sex life or struggled to relax and enjoy it, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening and how to create more confidence, clarity, and pleasure moving forward. Note: This was a live recording from November 2025. #SexWithEmily #EmilyMorse #LiveStream Check out Magic Wand at shop.sexwithemily.com/magicwand Don't miss a video! Subscribe NOW: https://www.youtube.com/@SexWithEmilyOfficial?sub_confirmation=1 ABOUT EMILY: Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex. CONNECT: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/ X: https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily WANT MORE? Visit the Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ which includes FREE guides. Free Downloadable Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Text With Me: https://sexwithemily.com/text Receive Sex Tips On The Regular: https://sexwithemily.com/subscribe Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to http://sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! Chapters: 00:00 Pleasure Is The Teacher 02:08 What Is Pleasure Based Sex Education? 03:08 Learning From The Body Instead Of The Mind 04:08 Why We Struggle To Feel Pleasure 06:10 Lack Of Desire vs Lack Of Safety And Permission 07:08 The Importance Of Slowing Down And Feeling 09:27 Why We Disconnect During Sex 10:13 Building Erotic Self-Trust And Awareness 11:16 You’re Not Broken: Reframing Sexual Beliefs 13:05 Community Q&A Begins: Real Questions About Sex 14:11 How To Communicate Desire And Dominance 17:44 Co-Creating Pleasure With Your Partner 22:43 Bridging Solo Pleasure And Partnered Sex 27:59 Reconnecting With Your Body As It Changes 33:08 Getting Out Of Your Head And Into Sensation 40:00 Pain, Hormones, And Navigating Physical Changes 43:55 Rebuilding Sexual Confidence After Time Alone 48:34 Final Thoughts: Practice, Communication, And Pleasure Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Okay, so if you've been listening to this show for a while, you know I'm not about random
0:03.2	sex toys or gimmicks. I'm about tools that actually support your pleasure, your communication, and your connection. Well, that's exactly why we created the shop, Sex with Emily's Store. Everything in there is curated by me and my team, and these are products I trust, I recommend to clients, and what tell my friends about. I do tell my friends about. It's what I talk about
0:20.9	all the time. Whether you're exploring solo pleasure, looking to reconnect with a partner,
0:24.8	or you really just want something body safe and beginner friendly. We've organized it so you
0:29.2	don't feel overwhelmed. People love the dame pillow for supported sex. The Magic Wand
0:34.2	waterproof. Oh my God, it's so good. Cray Vesper, massage candles, Joe-flavored
0:38.8	Loube, We Vibe Touch, clitoral vibrators. There's just so many things on there because pleasure
0:43.4	shouldn't be confusing. It should feel empowering. You can check it out at shop.sexwithemly.com
0:49.0	and find something that supports where you are right now or just click the link in the show notes.
0:53.6	Also, keep an eye out for
0:55.0	curated collections coming soon. Holland and Barrett's big payday event has landed. So now's a
1:00.6	good time to check in with your body. Low on energy. Tummy gurgling. Struggling to focus. Maybe your
1:06.9	body's asking for a little more support. This payday, give it what it needs with buy one one, get one free, and offers on over a thousand favorites online, plus hundreds of can't miss offers in store. Shop now, in store, online, and on the app. Back your body. Holland and Barrett. Selected lines only, subject to availability. Range varies online and in store. Endth of may see website for details pleasure here is
1:28.2	actually the teacher if i asked you at the last time you had sex can you remember what you were feeling
1:32.6	do you remember what touch felt good it's not that a lot of us really like lack desire we lack permission
1:38.8	and safety and patience with our bodies this is intelligence. And expanding what actually counts as pleasure.
1:46.6	This is how we build erotic self-trust.
1:49.5	Can I trust my body and knowing what it wants?
1:52.4	We create sustainable desire over time
1:55.2	rather than just chasing it.
1:56.8	You're not broken, you're just operating from a system
1:59.4	that wasn't built to support you or your
	...

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