The Pursuer and Distancer: Which One Are You?
The Angry Therapist Podcast
John Kim
4.6 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 6 January 2023
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, John talks about what the "pursuers" and "distancers" are in relationships, and encourages you to look at your behavioral patterns to determine which one you are in your relationships.
Roughly ten minutes of self help in a shot glass. If you're looking for a wine glass, you've come to the wrong place. Marriage family therapist and best selling author, John Kim, shares his life and love revelations as well as insights from his sessions. He pulls the curtain back and documents his journey as a therapist but more importantly, as a human being.
Meet him at -> www.theangrytherapist.com
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago |
| 0:05.6 | and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations. |
| 0:10.3 | I believe in casual or clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose |
| 0:16.2 | because self-health doesn't have to be so complicated. |
| 0:20.9 | Has it been feeling like I'm just sitting next to you? |
| 0:24.0 | Well, not next to you in front of you. |
| 0:27.0 | Hopefully I'm not sitting next. |
| 0:28.0 | Do you sit next to your friends at coffee shops? |
| 0:30.0 | Not directly in front, but you guys sit like you're watching a movie that doesn't |
| 0:34.0 | happen doesn't it has it been feeling like I'm just hanging out with you sitting in front |
| 0:38.6 | of you at a coffee shop shooting this shit talking about relationships |
| 0:41.6 | because that is my whole approach I hope that's shooting this whole thing |
| 0:45.0 | whole thing doesn't the whole thing doesn't feel this whole thing doesn't |
| 0:48.7 | feel unprofessional the my tone and my approach is a conversational one and that's what I imagine when I'm doing these things. |
| 0:57.0 | I'm actually thinking about you sitting in front of me and we're just chatting. |
| 1:03.0 | Okay, so I mentioned my predator and prey theory, right, the relationship dynamic. |
| 1:10.0 | Now I want to talk about a different relationship dynamic. This one is actually more common. |
| 1:15.0 | It's the pursuer slash distancer. |
| 1:20.0 | So, one is pursuing, one is after the chase, one has a pattern of pursuing in a relationship |
| 1:30.9 | to get the high off that chase and then the other one is |
| 1:33.6 | creating distance right the other one is a runner running away now listen there is |
| 1:39.0 | that little chasing game that fl, that thing that happens early on when you first start |
... |
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