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Do You F*cking Mind?

The Psychology of Standards: Why You Keep Setting the Bar Too Low(E)

Do You F*cking Mind?

Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa - Neuroscientist and Mindset Coach

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 914 Ratings

🗓️ 28 August 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Stop playing small. In this episode of Do You F**ing Mind?*, I break down why so many of us keep setting the bar too low; in relationships, in our careers, and in the standards we hold for ourselves. Using psychology and neuroscience, we explore:

  • Why your brain tricks you into settling for less than you deserve

  • How low standards slowly kill your confidence and self-worth

  • The hidden link between fear, comfort zones, and “just enough” living

  • Practical strategies to raise the bar in love, work, and personal growth

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Am I settling?”, this episode will help you raise your standards, reclaim your confidence, and finally demand the life you actually want.


Brain Fact: Explaining Urbach Wiethe Disease.  

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

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0:22.8

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0:47.9

So today is an encore episode because I am going on maternity leave.

0:56.5

I have hand selected with my assistant,ai. We've hand selected episodes that we think will be like just honestly your favorite.

1:04.8

They're episodes that have either really great feedback or have been shared a lot amongst

1:10.8

you guys or have been shared a lot

1:12.4

on socials and re-shared on stories. So we thought, you know, we'd bring back kind of the top

1:16.3

favourites or the ones that resonated the most with you guys. So I'm going on just three, well,

1:21.6

the podcast is going on three weeks of maternity leave. I am going on four months of maternity leave, but fear not,

1:30.4

fret not. I have created an entire back catalogue. So after these three weeks of encore episodes,

1:36.2

you will be receiving your normal dose of a Monday episode and a head noise episode and also some

1:42.0

really cool mini series scattered throughout up until

1:45.5

the end of the year and then I will come back for regular programming mid-January after

1:50.1

kind of the Christmas break. So without fucking around any further, enjoy the episode,

1:55.9

the encore episode of today. Love you guys so much. Welcome to today's episode. So today's episode is all about

2:02.7

are you setting the bar too low? And the answer, if you're listening to this, is probably yes.

2:10.0

And I'm going to be talking about which areas of your life and what it looks like and what you

2:15.3

can do about it instead. Firstly, you've got to identify, am I setting the bar too low?

2:19.5

And I'm going to tell you what's wrong with setting the bar too low

2:22.2

because pretty much everything.

2:23.7

But this is going to be career-wise, personal, you know,

2:27.5

what you expect from yourself and then, of course, massively from relationships,

...

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