The Pressure to be "Chill"

ShrinkChicks

Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT and Emmalee Bierly, LMFT

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Relationships

5 • 717 Ratings

🗓️ 28 July 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking all about the pressure we can feel to be "the chill one" in our relationships. They discuss minimizing your needs and where that may stem from, the socialization of "the cool girl," how to slowly start expressing your needs if you're not used to doing so, why we can't expect others to read our minds, the difference between actually not caring vs. lack of self-advocacy, and so much more! Tune in to gain insight, awareness, and action! PS: Fast forward to around 12 minutes to skip the intro and get straight to today’s content. ⁠Get Matched With One of Our Therapists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ at The Therapy Group! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ShrinkChicks on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Know Yourself Grow Yourself Journal⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!! Check out ShrinkChicks on YouTube by subscribing here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/channel/UCrxuhDqoL4ML3UE8b2J2BBg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ A special thank you to this week's sponsors for supporting ShrinkChicks! We have these exclusive offers for our listeners: Leesa: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Leesa.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for 25% off a mattress, PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code shrinkchicks, exclusive for our listeners Headspace: For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Headspace.com/SHRINKCHICKS60⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days Green Chef: Head to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Greenchef.com/50SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code 50SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping Wildgrain: Get $30 off your first box - PLUS free croissants in every box - when you go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wildgrain.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to start your subscription or use code SHRINKCHICKS at checkout Pretty Litter: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠prettylitter.com/SHRINKCHICKS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy Quince: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/shrinkchicks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order Spot & Tango: Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠spotandtango.com/shrinkchicks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use code SHRINKCHICKS to get 50% off your first order Greenlight: Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠greenlight.com/shrinkchicks

Transcript

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0:00.0	This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation.
0:04.6	There is a deep connectedness that can happen in your relationships when you share your needs and you get them met by someone else.
0:13.2	When you say to yourself, my needs are not a burden.
0:17.3	I am worthy of expressing my needs.
0:20.5	And I can be in safe relationships where people can respond to my needs in the way I respond to their needs.
0:40.6	Welcome back to another episode of shrink chicks.
0:45.8	Take a seat on our virtual therapy couch and get ready to learn all about, well, you.
0:46.9	I'm Emily Beirley.
0:48.1	And I'm Jennifer Chakin. And we're both licensed, marriage and family therapist and relationship experts.
0:52.4	We're the owners and founders of the therapy group, a nationwide psychotherapy practice
0:57.0	with down-to-earth therapists just like us.
0:59.7	Your session is starting, so get ready to know yourself and grow yourself.
1:06.4	Hi, Jen.
1:07.4	Hi, Em.
1:08.3	How are you?
1:09.0	I'm doing great.
1:10.9	How are you? Does'm doing great. How are you?
1:12.4	Does that look real?
1:15.0	I'm doing so great.
1:18.2	No, you don't look okay.
1:19.7	I'm doing amazing.
1:21.2	Oh, I was like, Jen got a spray tan yesterday.
	...

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