Hi, this is Bonnie Burns with this week's sex chat quickie.

A key concept in building a marriage with long-term sexual unity is friendship.

According to Dr. John Gottman, the emotional connection that married couples share is said to be five times more important than their

physical intimacy for long-term satisfaction. Couples that are friends look forward to spending time

together and genuinely like one another. Couples who genuinely like each other usually have better

sexual relationships. There are lots of different facets to developing a

secure friendship with your spouse, and today I'm focusing on the power of words and how to grow

in genuinely liking each other. I work with marriages in crisis, and I hear over and over

that your words matter. Sticks and stones may break my bones and words will never hurt me is a lie and an unhealthy way

to relate to your spouse.

Proverbs 1821 says the tongue has the power of life and death.

In other words, the power of life builds unity, harmony, and a godly partnership.

The power of death speaks destruction to the relationship and crushes the soul of the other.

Let's look at some examples of the tongue creating death.

Mocking your spouse in private or public.

Degrading your spouse in private or public by calling them your spouse in private or public by calling them

hateful names or using foul language against them, disrespecting their opinion on matters, or not

taking their ideas seriously through the use of sarcasm and belittling. All these things destroy a

relationship. And if a friend did any of these things to me, I doubt I would want to spend

time with them anymore. Now the opposite of these things isn't silence. It is using the tongue

to speak the power of life over your spouse. And the power of life looks like speaking

kindly with a caring tone of voice,

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