The Pain We Carry: Father Wounds, Grief & Becoming Whole (ft. BJ Communicates) | Ep 478

Dad Tired

Jerrad Lopes

Religion & Spirituality, Christianity

5 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 21 July 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

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What if the pain you’ve buried is the very thing blocking you from becoming the man God created you to be?

In this raw and emotional episode, Jerrad sits down with Dr. Brad Johnson—also known as BJ Communicates—to talk about grief, father wounds, and how trauma shapes us more than we realize. BJ shares the heartbreaking story of holding his newborn son as he took his last breath, walking through the fog of loss in his marriage, and later grieving the death of his own father before reconciliation could happen.

Together, they unpack how fatherlessness, unprocessed emotions, and generational pain keep men stuck—and why ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. They talk about how grief shows up in unexpected ways (like road rage and burnout), why most men lack true friendships, and how healing begins with honest conversations.

This episode is an invitation to stop carrying what God has called you to cast—and to believe that the best version of you is on the other side of your pain.

What You’ll Learn:

Why men are emotional—even when they say they’re not
How father wounds affect your identity
The power of grief and what it reveals
What it means to carry trauma in your body
How to connect with your wife through emotional check-ins
Why men struggle to form deep friendships
How generational patterns repeat if we don’t interrupt them
Why healing is spiritual—and why it matters for your family

Mentioned in This Episode:

BJ Communicates’ books: Hard Conversations series
Support group for grieving dads: Sad Dad
“Feelings Wheel” for emotional check-ins
Book Jerrad to speak: https://www.jerradlopes.com
Grab Dad Tired and Loving It: https://amzn.to/3YTz4GB

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you're brand new to the podcast, just want to say welcome.
0:02.0	Super glad that you're here, man.
0:04.0	We are a group of guys from all of the world who are trying to take our faith, our family,
0:08.0	and our marriages very seriously.
0:10.0	We are trying to personally fall in love with Jesus and then help our families do the same.
0:14.0	And we really believe that strong families begin with healed men, so we are not shy about leaning into our own healing as hard and as awkward as that can be
0:22.3	sometimes. We are serious about becoming healed men because we know that healed men are the kind of
0:28.5	men who raise families well. And so that's what we're all about here at Dad Tired. Again,
0:32.6	we're glad that you're here if you just stumbled upon the podcast. If you're not new and you've
0:36.2	been around for a while, I just want to remind you that we are a nonprofit and we rely heavily on your donations to keep going if you like this podcast, if this podcast is helpful for you on your journey of becoming more like Jesus. Just going to ask you humbly if you chip in, toss in a few bucks to help us keep going. You can do that by going to dadtire.com forward slash
0:54.8	donate. I can't tell you the amount of stories that we hear of guys who hit rock bottom. Most men
0:59.7	find this podcast when they hit rock bottom. They feel like they're not being the husband or the
1:04.2	father or the disciple that God has called them to be. They've either had sin exposed or their
1:08.6	marriages about to fall apart or some big thing
1:11.0	happened with their kids and they are desperate to find help.
1:14.0	And they often in that moment will find the dad tired podcast.
1:17.5	And your contributions help us keep going so that when a dad is in that need of desperation,
1:23.2	we can encourage him and bring him along into our community so he can be encouraged to keep going
1:28.9	strong. Also want to thank my friends at World Watch News for sponsoring today's episode. World Watch
1:34.9	News delivers fact-based news so you can feel good, helping your kids explore the world while also
1:39.7	recognizing God's design in the world. I'm a big fan of what they're doing. They're fact-based.
1:43.4	They embrace journalistic integrity. They are not taking any political or doctrinal stances. You can let your
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