The one thing to never say when setting boundaries
CLEANING UP YOUR MENTAL MESS with Dr. Caroline Leaf
Dr. Caroline Leaf
4.6 • 3.2K Ratings
🗓️ 7 August 2023
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Pre-order my new book HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD CLEAN UP THEIR MENTAL MESS here: https://www.mentallyresilientkids.com
+Pre-order before August 8 to get access to bonus content!
SHOW DESCRIPTION: In this podcast I talk about the importance of teaching your child about boundaries. This is part 2 of my series on parenting, boundaries, and mental health. Part one can be found here.
Whenever you, as a parent or caregiver, set a boundary, make sure that you always explain why in a way that your child will understand. Use the moment to model healthy boundaries for your child and teach them what a healthy boundary looks like, using language that encourages your child to think about the situation and what it means. Avoid using language that shuts them down such as saying “because I said so”, which will make the boundary feel more like a punishment than a teaching opportunity.
Read the blog here: https://drleaf.com/blogs/news/how-to-set-boundaries-while-still-respecting-validating-emotions
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EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:
1:00, 5:00 How to help your child clean up their mental mess
7:25 How to set boundaries with your child
8:20 Why it is always important to explain the “why” behind a boundary
9:40 Why we should avoid “Because I said so!” statements
12:00, 17:48 How to use boundaries as a learning experience for your child
19:00 What happens when we don’t set boundaries with our children
22:45, 25:02 How to validate what your child is feeling while setting boundaries
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
-Get my new book Cleaning up Your Mental Mess here: https://www.cleaningupyourmentalmess.com
-Get a free Cleaning up Your Mental Mess workbook when you subscribe to my weekly email at drleaf.com!
- Visit my website at https://drleaf.com for more free resources
-Instagram: @drcarolineleaf: https://www.instagram.com/drcarolineleaf/- -Facebook: Dr. Caroline Leaf: https://www.facebook.com/drleaf
-Twitter: @drcarolineleaf: https://twitter.com/DrCarolineLeaf
-Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/drcarolineleaf
*DISCLAIMER: This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, I'm Dr. Caroline Leif and welcome to my podcast, Cleaning Up the Mental Mace. |
| 0:10.5 | I'm very excited about something. |
| 0:13.6 | On August 8th, I have my new book being released on how to help children manage their mental |
| 0:19.3 | health. |
| 0:20.3 | You hear me talk a ton about this concept of how to help yourself clean up your mental |
| 0:25.0 | mental health. |
| 0:26.0 | Now this is how to help your child clean up their mental mace, a guide to building resilience |
| 0:31.6 | and managing mental health. |
| 0:33.8 | So this is a tool for parents, teachers, uncles, aunts, guardians, physicians, grannies. |
| 0:46.6 | We've got to help our children with their mental health. |
| 0:48.6 | It's got worse and worse and worse over the past 30, 40 years because we focus so much |
| 0:53.3 | on the symptoms and trying to suppress teaching children that that's a bad emotion and |
| 0:58.4 | suppressing it or just talking about the emotions and they're not doing anything about that. |
| 1:02.5 | We have to help a child to process what they're going through. |
| 1:05.5 | A child is affected by the environment. |
| 1:08.1 | The parenting, nurturing, experiences impact how they function. |
| 1:11.9 | It's well established that adverse child experiences, aces, will impact physiology or impact |
| 1:18.9 | therefore how their mental and mental health as they get older. |
| 1:22.3 | We know there's an increasing problem with mental health. |
| 1:24.6 | We know that suicides are on the increase, this is serious. |
| 1:28.0 | What we've been doing for the last 40 years is not good enough. |
| 1:31.2 | I've been in the field for the last 38 years, I've practiced clinically for 25, I've worked |
... |
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