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Before we start the show, I'm just going to invite our live studio audience

to swear allegiance to me as host of the news quiz and to all my descendants.

It's fine. It's voluntary. I'm in charge and to prove it,

I'll put on my special hat.

There we go. It is that simple. Welcome to the news quiz.

Hello. I'm Andy Zoltzmann.

Before we start this week's show,

some news just reaching us that a second claimant to the throne has emerged

just hours before the schedule start of this weekend's coronation.

So it will have to be settled by a joust at dawn in the Isle of Westminster Abbey

between King Charles and Mrs. Truss.

LAUGHTER

Never let go of your dreams.

Our teams this week, we have team pomp and circumstance against team Stuffer Nonsense.

On pomp and circumstance, we have Andy Parsons and from the New Statesman, Rachel Cunliffe.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

On team Stuffer Nonsense, we have Ria Lina,

which I believe translated from the Latin means royal line.

Really? No.

Er, and er...

I was going to say that's better than what it is backwards, which is anal air.

...