BBC Sounds, Music, Radio, Podcasts.

Before we begin, to ensure this week's news quiz proceeds uninterrupted,

we cordially invite you, wherever and whenever you are,

to ensure you're not in possession of anything that could be used to attach yourself to something.

For example, a bicycle lock, a pair of handcuffs, a belt, a shoelace, a bra,

and all particularly stretchy sock, a packet of tofies,

a pet snake with suspected leftist tendencies,

or a look in your eye that suggests you might be grumpy about something.

If you are in possession of one or more of these protest potentialising accessories,

please hand yourself into the police immediately

and allow the rest of our Laura Biding listeners to enjoy this week's edition of The News Quiz.

APPLAUSE

Thank you to The News Quiz.

It's been a week in which the cultural sector is suggested the BBC needs to look at news sources of funding,

so all of this week's panellists will be for sale on eBay after the show.

LAUGHTER

Let's meet our teams this week, as we look back on Ogre,

be the best coronation in this country so far this millennium.

We have team Heavy-handed against team Heavy-Hatted.

On team Heavy-handed, we have Andrew Doyle and Ian Smith.

APPLAUSE

On team Heavy-Hatted, we have Susie McCabe and the Deputy Political Editor of ITV News,

...