So much of the time, the issue isn't with the child. The issue is with us and we have to get out of the way.

Oh, what I'm bringing to the table here is all of my baggage. You'll be forced to come to terms with so much that you haven't yet thought about.

And so many things that you've kind of put into that junk drawer, that emotional junk drawer that you have

in the kitchen.

This is an episode about fatherhood.

Now, if you're not a father, if you're a mother, if you're a grandparent, this is still

for you because there's such an interesting perspective about fatherhood in this conversation

that I think will all benefit from hearing.

Today I'm talking with Kevin McGuire. Kevin has the most successful, the biggest substack on

fatherhood. It's called the new fatherhood. And now he has a book by the same name. For years,

Kevin has written honestly about his experience around what happens when being

achievement oriented, when not even realizing you've kind of defined yourself by your job and your

job success kind of clashes with the demand of modern fatherhood or even clashes with your own values on how you want to show up

as a father. Now, before I go further, let me just say, this is not an episode about how to be a

good dad. There's not one definition of that. But I think is really important in this conversation

with Kevin is Kevin and I both really

see dads as the protagonist, as the driver. They're not an extra parent. They're not the substitute.

They don't have to do things exactly like a mom does. And figuring out how to show up in a way that

really feels good to you is kind of a new thing that a lot of

fathers in previous generations weren't necessarily thinking about in the same way.

I think there's a lot in this conversation that might surprise you. A way of thinking about

feelings that kind of destroys the idea that feelings are soft. A way of thinking about

...