The Narcissist Expert: How To Spot Them, Survive Them & Why They're Everywhere - Dr. Ramani
Finding Mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais
Dr. Michael Gervais
4.7 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 30 July 2025
⏱️ 83 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What if some of the traits that drive high performance – are also at the very core of narcissism?
This week on Finding Mastery, we welcome clinical psychologist and narcissism expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula to explore one of the most complex psychological dynamics of our time.
Narcissism isn’t always loud or obvious. Dr. Ramani breaks down how narcissism lives on a spectrum, from subtle manipulation and gaslighting to full-blown disorders, and how it shows up in high performers, workplaces, relationships, and even within ourselves.
In this conversation, we explore:
- The 4 major types of narcissism and how gender influences their expression
- Why high achievers may unknowingly enable narcissistic tendencies
- How to recognize gaslighting, and why we often miss it
- Her 5-step framework for managing narcissistic relationships
- The cost of constantly accommodating others at the expense of your own wellbeing
This conversation is a must-listen for anyone navigating tough personalities, leadership challenges, or recovering from emotionally confusing relationships. Dr. Ramani’s insights are practical, powerful, and grounded in decades of research and clinical experience.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Narcissistic personality disorder is a stable persistent pattern of personality functioning that is characterized by selfishness and arrogance. |
| 0:09.0 | And there's nine symptoms of which a person needs five. And I'm going to crunch these down. |
| 0:15.7 | What are some of the key traits that drive high performance are also the ones at the very core of narcissism. |
| 0:22.2 | If you were in a stadium, what percentage of people are narcissists? |
| 0:25.0 | 15% and if you were to walk into the halls of a world-class football team or world-class basketball, |
| 0:31.4 | coaches slash athlete mix. |
| 0:33.9 | 20% to 25%. |
| 0:35.8 | Wow. |
| 0:36.4 | Welcome back. |
| 0:37.1 | Or welcome to the Finding Mastery podcast where we dive into the minds of the world's |
| 0:40.9 | greatest thinkers and doers. |
| 0:42.5 | I am your host, Dr. Michael Jervais, by trade and training, a high-performance |
| 0:46.2 | psychologist. |
| 0:47.0 | Now, the idea behind these conversations is simple to sit with the |
| 0:50.0 | extraordinarily to really learn about how they work from the inside out. |
| 0:55.5 | Today's conversation is one that hits deep, and I am so pleased to welcome Dr. Romney Dervasula, clinical psychologist, |
| 1:01.0 | professor and leading expert on narcissism. So when a person is in a relationship with someone |
| 1:06.2 | who's narcissistic, the most common experiences we witness are self-blame, self-doubt, isolation, anxiety, |
| 1:13.7 | depression. I hate to say it, but destroying a person's psyche is a pretty straightforward |
| 1:19.1 | process. Dr. Romney shares her model for navigating these relationships. She explains the different |
| 1:24.2 | types of narcissism and how gender shapes their expression. |
| 1:27.7 | The girls are allowed to be able to express emotion. |
... |
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