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Awesome Marriage Podcast

The Mindful Marriage: Breaking Cycles and Building Connection in Christ with Ron Deal Ep.701

Awesome Marriage Podcast

Dr. Kim Kimberling

Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Relationships, Christianity

4.9 • 802 Ratings

🗓️ 28 October 2025

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with Ron Deal to talk about what it really means to build a mindful marriage. Ron shares lessons from his new book, Mindful Marriage, and how restoration therapy helped him and his wife Nan find healing and deeper connection. Together, they explore how faith, self-awareness, and emotional regulation can transform your relationship from the inside out.

 

Episode Insights:

Authenticity is the foundation of lasting happiness.

Emotional dysregulation is normal.

 Our brains respond to threat, not fairness.

Pain cycles drive repeated conflict.

Growth and redemption matter more than blame.



Quotes from Today's Episode:

'Happy wife, happy life' sounds catchy, but in reality, it's an empty promise. Lasting happiness in marriage comes from authenticity, not performance or pretending everything is okay.

Every single one of us gets thrown off-balance emotionally. Some stay there longer, others move through it quickly, but emotional dysregulation is part of the human experience. There's nothing wrong about you because you get dysregulated.

The brain can't tell the difference between a rattlesnake, a near-miss in traffic, or your spouse's criticism. Threat is threat.

Our brains are wired for survival, not perfect communication.

You don't have fifty different fights in marriage. You just have one ongoing pain cycle. Once you identify and understand your pain cycle, you can finally move beyond it together.

Ignoring your pain doesn't make it go away—if anything, it makes your pain stronger, more insistent, and harder to escape.

It's easy to point out the flaw in someone else, but it's vital to focus on your own growth.

You may not forget your pain, but you can redeem what it does in your life. Choosing redemption over resentment is liberating.



Couples Conversation Guide:

Are there areas in our marriage where we tend to "perform" or pretend things are okay instead of being real with each other? 

 

When conflict or hurt arises between you, how aware are you of what's really going on beneath the surface—your emotions, triggers, or past experiences?

What's one practical step you can take this week to be more mindful in your marriage—whether that's pausing before reacting, praying together, or choosing to listen with empathy?

 

Mentioned in this episode:

 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Your brain does not know the difference between a rattlesnake, somebody crossing the double yellow line, and your spouse's criticism.

0:07.3

It does not know the difference between your mother yelling at you once again telling you you're an idiot and somebody pulling a knife on you in an alley.

0:16.2

Your brain does not know the difference between any sort of perceived threat.

0:20.8

Threat is threat.

0:21.9

So if it's somebody looking at you with eyes that say, I don't know if I love you anymore,

0:26.8

I'm disappointed in you, I can't trust you, what in the world is wrong with you?

0:32.4

That is a threat to your sense of identity and your sense of stability and safety in the relationships.

0:38.6

Welcome to Day's Awesome Marriage Podcast. Today is a special treat. I get to welcome a long-time

0:42.7

friend and respected voice in the Christian marriage face, Ron Diehl. Ron and his wife, Nan,

0:47.1

have been married since 1986. They've got three boys and are the co-authors of the highly endorsed

0:52.5

book, The Mindful Marriage, Create Your Best Relationship through Understanding and Managing Yourself.

0:58.6

Ron and Ann have been featured in various teaching videos and present the Mindful Marriage

1:03.3

Conference around the country.

1:05.1

Let's go to the studio so you can meet Ron.

1:07.6

Communication is a number one issue for couples, and the real problem is breakdown. But

1:12.5

it doesn't have to stay that way. With our Fix Your Communication Breakdowns bundle, you'll get

1:17.2

three powerful tools valued at $50 for a donation of any amount to us in marriage. Don't miss

1:24.3

this chance to solve the fights, grow your understanding, and strengthen your marriage.

1:28.8

Act now.

1:29.5

The offer ends October 31st.

1:31.4

Just click the link in the show notes.

1:34.4

Ron, welcome Loss of Marriage Podcast.

...

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