Ladies, men have a cheat code that no one explains to us. They might not even realize they do it. It's the set of unspoken rules that nobody ever explains, but they are right there in front of our face. And the thing is if you don't understand the code, you're going to spend years of trying to figure out basic things. Confused, frustrated, and wondering why he does what he does. Well, today I'm going to break the code. I'm going to break

it down for you so you can finally understand what's actually going on. Let's go.

Welcome to the mindful Muslim speaks podcast, a safe space to learn and grow into the best

version of yourself that you're always meant to be. I'm your host, mindful Muslim

a mom of five, big sister to the community and a licensed educator with 25 plus years and supporting tens of thousands of Muslim women worldwide. Now I'm excited to share a ton of solutions to your problems on love, relationships, life balance, reconnecting with Allah, Siphanna and getting back on track and more. So grab a cup of coffee and close out those tabs. These next 20 to 30 minutes are all about you. Let's get started.

Salaamu al-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-tah-a-tah-a-tah-tah-a-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah-tah-katu

for those of you who have been following us on YouTube recently, we have an actual podcast. It's on Spotify. It's on Apple. It's called Mindful Muslim Speaks. I just throw it out there because people are like, oh, I thought you just make videos and they didn't know we have an entire podcast of 7 million listeners. So if you have a chance, check it out. We'll have links below. So today we're talking about the cheat code. And I wanted to kind of start off with a personal story because I think I'm saying these things like, oh, there's a cheat code, there's this and that, but this comes to empty, really experiences that women are having. When I was first married and I was in my marriage, I remember lying on the floor, just really at the end of my rope in Sajut, you know, subhanna, just pouring my heart out crying to L'Azpana'u'a that I did not understand what I was doing wrong. Why was my marriage the way it was? What was going on? Why was he behaving like this? How come nothing I said was right? It was just extremely frustrating and it didn't matter if I went to work that day and tried to carry on with the day. It was in the back of my mind the entire day. Just this constant looming sadness. And then I just questioned everything.

Was he lying? Did he not care about me? But the truth was way more complex. I just didn't

know. I didn't understand how men communicate and I didn't understand how to communicate with him

in a way that he'd listen. The thing is, once I learned the code, how to decode him. Now, if you know my story, you know that I ended up leaving that marriage because I didn't

know how to vet him in the beginning.

Went into that marriage as the good older child, did what everybody wanted to, didn't

vet, didn't do any of the things I'm suggesting to you, which is why I'm so passionate

about it.

Good news is, wasn't the end of the world for you divorced ladies. Al-hamdallah, I learned these things, like what I'm going to tell you today. And then I got in and I ended up finding the person who actually is my best friend, who I'm married to today. So, al-h-h-h-d-law, that can be your story to, or even better, b'nilah. But the cheat code.

Once I learned that, whoop, changed everything in my understanding. Not just for him, but for everyone else, if I wanted to evaluate a potential for my daughter because we have older married children. So you're going to love this one today. Let's dive right into the rules of the cheat code so you can know it too. So the first one is men expressed by actions, not by words. So he's not going to say, I'm going to protect you. He's just going to walk those streets and protect you, right? Now if a man is not doing that, that is something else. That is something else. But the number one thing to understand is that he's not going to go and tell you everything he's doing.

Now, women are different.

We love to talk.

We love to explain.

We love to make people understand how we're feeling and thinking.

Men, they're like, feel all those feelings on purpose?

Why would I feel horrible emotions on purpose?

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