The Last Men on Earth
The Luke and Pete Show
Stak Production
4.8 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 30 March 2026
⏱️ 28 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If Luke and Pete were to leave the studio to find they’re suddenly the only people left on the planet, what would the strategy be? Minor spoiler: primates and Lime Bikes would be involved.
Also up for discussion are parking tickets, jarring tonal shifts in hip-hop and an email about bubbly water.
Plus, we find out what Pete was up to in the 90s.
Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.
The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | just you and me |
| 0:08.2 | everyone we know in a room imagine it was just you and me left imagine if we got out of |
| 0:13.0 | this studio in an hour and it was just you and me what would we do i'd climb up the tallest |
| 0:18.9 | building i'd just have to stop you doing that i'd have to stop you doing that because I want to be on my own. Oh. I think, imagine that. I think that's probably what people listening would want out of the future of humanity. You to accidentally kill yourself and we have to bury you. No, just me and you, just me and you being, you know, just doing constantly compete your podcasts. I'd leave you for the pigeons. And trying to try to bum each other |
| 0:40.8 | to pro-reate. Is that how it works? If there was just me and you, right? Double check. Double check. If it was just me and you, right? We were only people on Earth, right? We know that, but we knew that the, the, we need to find some way of |
| 0:57.4 | kickstarting humanity again. And we know that two men generally do biological from birth |
| 1:05.1 | men do not have the capacity to make, to procreate, right? A lot of you said that so you |
| 1:09.6 | don't offend anyone. Yep. |
| 1:12.6 | There's University College Hospital just there. |
| 1:27.2 | Right. We could probably go and see if there's any kind of embryo storage facility there. And put the embryo in me. You're taller, you've probably got more capacity. I don't think we're putting it in either of us. I think we might have to put it in. what I'm doing all I'm saying is we're going |
| 1:28.0 | After we've gone to |
| 1:28.7 | University College Hospital, |
| 1:29.7 | Embryan department |
| 1:30.4 | shoved a few embers up our ass either of us. I think we might have to put it in... What I'm doing, all I'm saying is we're going, |
| 1:46.0 | after we've gone to University College Hospital, Embryorium Department, which I assume is a department, we're going straight to London Zoo. Peter? Why London Zoo? Because you're the primate expert. Get me a primate. Right. Preferably female. With our bums filled with embryos. No, we're not doing that. You could just be stored normally in a tank. |
| 1:47.2 | What is it in a tank? |
| 1:44.2 | Like in a tank. |
| 1:46.3 | What is it in a tank? |
| 1:47.4 | Like in, |
| 1:47.8 | like a, |
| 1:48.7 | like a, |
| 1:48.7 | with the, |
... |
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