The Jelly Roll Federalist Papers
Shutdown Fullcast
© Shutdown Fullcorp
4.8 • 3K Ratings
🗓️ 25 March 2026
⏱️ 109 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
- Practicing Minions preparedness
- Which Fullcast hosts are actively evil? Discuss
- Which Hand In The Dirt host would you want to ride out the Purge with?
- Spencer takes a musical journey
- Tailgate at the Jack Reacher trial, save the date
- Morally cleansing ollies at Augusta National
- The Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 27 (twenty-seven) bonus episodes since launching in August. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)
- Now through March 31, 100% of proceeds from all PTKU merch sales will be donated to TransVisible Montana. Visit preownedairboats.com to purchase BRAND-NEW BLUE SHARKS GEAR #EXCLUSIVE
- Shutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray Surber
- Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Becca Lynch
- DID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s not
- Before the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other work
- Travel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
- Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | I wanted to start with a hypothetical here from my niece. |
| 0:05.2 | My niece is a really gifted, unique child. |
| 0:08.3 | Which niece age-wise? |
| 0:11.3 | She's about 12 now. |
| 0:14.9 | But you can tell that she's my relative because she has questions like this. |
| 0:19.3 | She came downstairs to my mother, her grandmother, in the morning, and grandma's doing, you know, morning stuff and got the, you know, got the bacon and the biscuits going. |
| 0:30.5 | She walks down in her pajamas, looks around and goes, Mimi, what would you do right now if this room was filled with minions? |
| 0:44.9 | The little yellow ones. |
| 0:46.6 | The little yellow ones. |
| 0:47.7 | Mr. Beast presents the ultimate Mimi challenge. |
| 0:52.8 | I just picture it. |
| 0:57.4 | You said that, and I'm sure she didn't say it in a menacing tone, but I just pictured like iron gates rattling into place over every door and window as soon as |
| 1:03.2 | soon as those words left. |
| 1:05.1 | And then for some reason, the air conditioning starts spitting minions out of the |
| 1:09.4 | dance. |
| 1:10.4 | And you just hear a distant noise of, |
| 1:13.6 | it's getting closer. |
| 1:15.6 | Do you think she meant, do you think she meant this room has a lot of minions milling around it? |
| 1:21.6 | Or the room is filling with minions. |
| 1:24.6 | Like ball pit style. |
| 1:25.6 | Right. |
| 1:26.6 | Or hourglass style. |
... |
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