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Shutdown Fullcast

The Jelly Roll Federalist Papers

Shutdown Fullcast

© Shutdown Fullcorp

Sports, Football

4.83K Ratings

🗓️ 25 March 2026

⏱️ 109 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

  • Practicing Minions preparedness
  • Which Fullcast hosts are actively evil? Discuss
  • Which Hand In The Dirt host would you want to ride out the Purge with?
  • Spencer takes a musical journey
  • Tailgate at the Jack Reacher trial, save the date
  • Morally cleansing ollies at Augusta National
  • The Shutdown Fullcast is on Patreon. This is how we pay our producers, and occasionally ourselves. If you'd like to help with that, give us $4 a month (or a larger, funnier number of your choosing) and we'll give you bonus episodes. As of this recording we have delivered 27 (twenty-seven) bonus episodes since launching in August. We think this is a pretty good deal (for you)
  • Now through March 31, 100% of proceeds from all PTKU merch sales will be donated to TransVisible Montana. Visit preownedairboats.com to purchase BRAND-NEW BLUE SHARKS GEAR #EXCLUSIVE
  • Shutdown Fullcast is produced by Michael Ray Surber
  • Fullcast theme variant arranged and performed by Becca Lynch
  • DID YOU KNOW: Spencer and Holly write Channel 6, a year-round newsletter that is mostly about football, until it’s not
  • Before the world ends (again), treat yourself to Jason’s critically praised novel and other work
  • Travel in your mind palace to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Steven Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
  • Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I wanted to start with a hypothetical here from my niece.

0:05.2

My niece is a really gifted, unique child.

0:08.3

Which niece age-wise?

0:11.3

She's about 12 now.

0:14.9

But you can tell that she's my relative because she has questions like this.

0:19.3

She came downstairs to my mother, her grandmother, in the morning, and grandma's doing, you know, morning stuff and got the, you know, got the bacon and the biscuits going.

0:30.5

She walks down in her pajamas, looks around and goes, Mimi, what would you do right now if this room was filled with minions?

0:44.9

The little yellow ones.

0:46.6

The little yellow ones.

0:47.7

Mr. Beast presents the ultimate Mimi challenge.

0:52.8

I just picture it.

0:57.4

You said that, and I'm sure she didn't say it in a menacing tone, but I just pictured like iron gates rattling into place over every door and window as soon as

1:03.2

soon as those words left.

1:05.1

And then for some reason, the air conditioning starts spitting minions out of the

1:09.4

dance.

1:10.4

And you just hear a distant noise of,

1:13.6

it's getting closer.

1:15.6

Do you think she meant, do you think she meant this room has a lot of minions milling around it?

1:21.6

Or the room is filling with minions.

1:24.6

Like ball pit style.

1:25.6

Right.

1:26.6

Or hourglass style.

...

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