Danny Wallace

Ray D-O-X

Well hello and welcome to another important broadcast from your broadcast pals, your IBPs.

That is of course me, Danny Wallace.

But you know that because you're sitting in your room right now looking up at your poster of me.

And if you were lucky enough that I signed it at a recent regional tour,

you may have met me at the ESO in Ramsgate.

They didn't want me there.

That's what really annoyed me.

I'm doing a tour, right?

A poster signing tour.

Yeah.

And I'm doing it at ESOs and shells because I can cover much more ground that way because I could just get on an A road or a B road. Get straight on my... Just pull in. Just pull in, spend half an hour at Cop Dock. Get some crisps. Get some posters out. Greet the people. Yeah. Wait for them to... And the managers are like... A, who are you? Sure. B, what are you doing? well, I'm quite clearly on a poster signing tour. And C, it's four in the morning. And there's very little people here. Yeah, and you've got cones next to all of the petrol pumps because they're all closed, so I don't know what you're moaning about. Well, I put the cones there to funnel foot traffic. So people park up at the side and I get them as they walk in

to complain. The problem is

that your posts are

full frontal. Yeah, of course

there are. So it's like... I don't

show everything because I

know, because I'm holding

the tennis racket

which is sheathed.

It has the cover on, you know, because it's part of the sport collection. Oh, the bucket cover? Yeah. It's part of the sport collection.

...