This is NPR's Life Kit. I'm Kavita Kadusa.

When someone close to you dies, maybe a parent, a spouse or a sibling, it's a big loss.

Those around you might acknowledge that loss by showing up with food, checking in,

maybe sending a card.

But what about when a neighbour dies or that long awaited family reunion is cancelled?

There's a chance others might not acknowledge or recognise it as a loss.

And you may feel guilty for even feeling this way.

Yeah, disenfranchised grief refers to a loss that's not openly acknowledged, socially mourned or publicly supported.

That's Kenneth Doca, Professor Emeritus at the College of New Rochelle in New York.

He coined a term that captures this feeling of loss that you don't feel entitled to.

He calls it disenfranchised grief.

Doca says disenfranchised grief could also refer to other losses that aren't acknowledged.

A pet dying, losing a job, or missing out on milestone events like prom or a 50th birthday.

The pandemic of COVID-19 will be followed by a pandemic of complicated grief.

Because so many losses are disenfranchised.

So what do we do about these losses?

Grief Councillor and therapist David DeFoe says it's hard because it's the kind of feelings we don't want to acknowledge.

Disenfranchised grief is grief that we don't commonly recognise or we would think,

okay, I haven't lost someone to death. Why am I grieving? Why am I sad?

It's a wide spectrum, but disenfranchised grief is really just grief that people seem to ignore or want to dismiss or explain away.

But it's important not to ignore them. Grief doesn't just go away magically.

We have to take the time to sort of talk with people about our losses, sit down in sort of process,

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