Why do we sometimes react in ways we don’t mean to? Why does criticism land so heavily when others can brush it off? And why, even when life looks good from the outside, do we feel stuck on the inside? This week’s guest offers a new perspective on all this – and an optimistic way forward. With nearly 10 million followers on Instagram as The Holistic Psychologist, Dr Nicole LePera has helped countless people see their lifelong patterns through a helpful new lens. She joins me to discuss her fantastic book, Reparenting the Inner Child: The New Science of Our Oldest Wounds and How to Heal Them. At the heart of our conversation is an important idea: we don’t see the world as it is, we see it through the state of our nervous system. Nicole highlights the signs that yours may be calling the shots, such as restlessness, numbness, disproportionate reactions and the constant need to be busy. And she explains how those patterns trace back to a part of us shaped long before we had the language for it: our inner child. We explore how childhood adaptations follow us into adulthood, often without us realising, shaping our relationships, our careers, our sensitivity to criticism, and our self-worth. Nicole walks us through some of the parent archetypes from her book. And we discuss the universal choice every child makes between authenticity and attachment (and what this costs us later). Importantly, this is never about blaming, parent or child – acceptance of the past (rather than approval or forgiveness) is how we begin to change. You’ll be fascinated to hear Nicole explain how trauma from generations before us may still be wired into our bodies, but we can break the cycle. We also discuss why conflict in relationships can be healthy, and why healing is a two-step process: becoming aware, and then making different choices. The best part? You’ll come away from this conversation with the tools for change. Nicole talks us through her practical strategies, including the conscious check-in, the three body anchors, bilateral stimulation, and getting to know yourself through simple, mindful moments. Whether you've spent years exploring attachment and inner-child work, or this is your first therapy session, I know you’ll find something here that stays with you. As Nicole says, healing isn’t about reaching an end point. It’s an ongoing process, available to all of us at any moment that we choose to join in.   The Thrive Tour: Transform Your Health and Happiness, a live show: Book Your Tickets https://drchatterjee.com/live   Thanks to our sponsors: https://dohealth.co/livemore https://thesleepreset.com/podcast https://hellolingo.com/livemore https://airbnb.co.uk/host   Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/664   DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.