The Habit That Destroys Relationships

Jillian on Love

QCODE Media

Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 7 July 2025

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if the reason your relationship feels off has nothing to do with your partner—and everything to do with a pattern you don’t even realize you’re stuck in? In this episode, Jillian breaks down the one habit that quietly sabotages even the healthiest relationships: keeping score. From romantic partnerships to friendships and family dynamics, scorekeeping erodes emotional intimacy and creates distance. Jillian explores why we fall into this pattern, how masculine and feminine energies often give love differently, and how resentment can build when those efforts go unrecognized. Join The Conscious Woman Waitlist https://mailchi.mp/0221461c6359/cw-wait-list Join my community and membership, The Conscious Woman Record and submit your relationship question for Jillian at https://askjillian.com/ Order Jillian's book It Begins with You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life at https://www.jillianturecki.com/book ~~ Follow the show on: Instagram: @jillianonlove Email the show at [email protected] Subscribe to Jillian on Love+ on Apple Podcasts or Patreon ~~ Follow Jillian Turecki on: Instagram: @jillianturecki TikTok: @jillian.turecki X: @JillianTurecki Visit her website at jillianturecki.com ~~ Jillian On Love is brought to you by QCODE. To advertise on the show, contact us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hi there, it's Jillian, and I want to tell you about Jillian on Love Plus, your way to get even more
0:06.3	Jillian on love each week by subscribing on Apple Podcasts or Patreon. You can access exclusive bonus
0:13.4	episodes with extras, including ad-free listening, answers to your most burning questions,
0:20.0	advice on all things dating and relationships,
0:22.4	and much more. Check out the link in the episode description for more information.
0:33.1	There is one habit that can turn an otherwise healthy relationship into a toxic one.
0:43.3	It is a habit that can creep up really silently.
0:51.3	It can be something that you don't even realize is happening.
0:58.3	It's often unconscious.
1:00.4	It is the silent killer of attraction, of trust, of emotional intimacy.
1:08.3	And after years of working with couples, it is the habit that I have seen destroy relationships the fastest.
1:16.6	And that habit is the habit of keeping score.
1:20.6	You're no longer giving to your partner from a place of generosity.
1:25.6	You're giving to your partner to see if they're going to give you
1:30.1	something back. And then if they are not giving you something back or if they're not giving at the
1:36.2	level that you think that you're giving, you start to withhold your love. You start to get resentful.
1:48.0	You start to hate your partner in a lot of ways. You start to complain to your friends about them. You start to get in your head and sustain
1:55.7	really strong stories about them about why they never do this or why they never do that, you start to
2:01.6	get insecure. That's when your attachment wounding can come up really strong. That's when a lot of
2:10.2	people can get anxious. That's when a lot of people start to get avoidant. I am going to share
2:17.2	today how to stop this pattern.
2:20.2	If you're doing it, and you could be doing this inside of a friendship, I see it a lot inside
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 18 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from QCODE Media, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of QCODE Media and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.