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Love and Abuse

The growing resentment that can build when their hurtful behaviors never end

Love and Abuse

Paul Colaianni

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7879 Ratings

🗓️ 8 January 2025

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When someone keeps hurting you, you might blame yourself and think if you were only better, they'd stop. But as their hurtful behavior continues, resentment builds and you start questioning everything about yourself.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to love and abuse, the show about navigating the difficult relationship, from simple disagreements to emotionally abusive behaviors.

0:08.2

You deserve respecting kindness.

0:10.5

All the information on this show is meant for educational purposes only.

0:14.0

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being and always pick your battles wisely.

0:19.2

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

0:26.3

Welcome to another episode of love and abuse.

0:29.2

If this is your first time,

0:31.4

I'm sorry you have to listen to a show like this, honestly,

0:35.1

because I talk about toxic behaviors and toxic communication and how

0:41.6

some people can be very difficult. Some people can be controlling and manipulative. They can be

0:48.2

dishonest. They can be deceitful. They can be resentful. Resentment isn't necessarily something that I would consider emotionally abusive unless it turns into behaviors that cause somebody hurt, make them feel bad.

1:06.0

Like when you resent something somebody did and you want to get back at them, that's when it

1:11.8

becomes or can become emotionally abusive.

1:14.8

But you might actually tend to blame yourself for having such feelings about someone else.

1:21.9

There are those who blame themselves and then there are those who blame the other person.

1:27.4

That's like saying, I resent

1:29.8

you for what you're doing to me. So I'm either going to make you feel bad for what you're

1:36.8

doing to me or I'm going to make myself feel bad for allowing me to be in a situation with you.

1:44.1

And there's a third way to look at this too.

1:46.5

I resent you for you not noticing what you're doing to me. That could be another perspective and

1:54.3

often is a perspective in emotionally abusive relationships. Somebody can feel this resentment build up. And then they look at the

2:04.8

other person and blame them for not noticing what they're doing to the person who's feeling resentful.

...

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