Hey Freaks, it's Friday, April 10th, 2026 coming up on the program today, the weak and brittle bones of Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.

Plus, a rabbit, one-eyed monster bitch terrorizes children at Target.

Making your black girlfriend make monkey noises during sex should be a hate crime.

And an Australian Fatberg is spraying out two droppings.

Distorted View Daily proudly presents a YouTube masturbation confession.

There's a story for the lifetime. Just an interesting one. I'll get down to it.

I was jerking the bark on me, even with a condom.

I did it for so long that my shit became raw and painful shit. It healed up already, but boy,

that was the dumbest thing I ever fucking did you know being the

bark with a con huh and I did it too much I was like oh fuck and I tell you I don't

regret it it's the funniest story because it's true no don't judge I just did it for an experiment and I didn't feel good

afterwards. But this is a funny YouTube story and I said it in a nice way where you don't get

the full picture of what I was doing. I was doing a science experiment and what I lasted about

a fucking minute before my shit started burning.

And I'm like, I'm never doing this shit again.

Even with plastic, I, I was like, fuck, I fucked my shit up.

That was the brightest day of my week.

That was the most exciting.

And then, of course, you know, besides that, pretty good day out, good weather.

It's Distorted View Daily with Tim Henson. They don't know what the fuck they're doing.

You got to see the pussy or the butthole. I don't have kitty milk. Why don't you go talk about Jewish space lasers?

And really, why don't you fuck off?

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