The Dark Art Of Shadowing Masturbating

Distorted View Daily: NSFW Comedy, Weird News & Internet Oddities

Tim Henson

Stand-up, News, Comedy, Society & Culture, News Commentary, Documentary

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 7 January 2026

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

🎧Episode Summary On today’s Distorted View Daily, Tim takes freaks on a chaotic midweek ride featuring shadow-based masturbation detection, electric car paranoia, prosperity preacher excess, and Florida once again earning its title as America’s most unhinged state. From Planet Fitness restroom gooners to a $12,000 water bottle disaster, this episode delivers maximum distortion with zero […]

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, Freaks, it's Wednesday, January 7th,
0:03.9	20206. Coming up on the program today,
0:06.2	the dark art of shadow masturbating.
0:08.8	Plus, heavy mutations go Hollywood,
0:11.2	the prosperity preacher who keeps getting harassed
0:13.6	by big beautiful tits,
0:15.1	and no justice for the pissed upon.
0:17.5	All this was your voicemails.
0:19.1	Today on TV!
0:23.3	Distorted View Daily proudly presents
0:26.7	Trans Legend Daisy Diamond singing Chattanooga Choochoochoo.
0:33.4	Pardon me, boy.
0:35.9	Is that the Chattanoochooch,
0:39.7	Drake 29, but you can give me a shine.
0:47.8	I can afford to put the Chedanugue Choochoo,
0:54.1	I've got my fare
0:56.0	And just a travel to spill
0:59.0	Well, you leave the Pennsylvania station
1:04.0	But the quarter to four
1:05.0	Hurry to make a scene
1:07.0	And then you're involving more
1:09.0	Dinner and a diner Dynamics
	...

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