The damage done by emotionally immature parents (and how to heal)
All In The Mind
ABC Australia
4.5 • 825 Ratings
🗓️ 8 May 2021
⏱️ 29 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
How would you describe your parents? Nobody's perfect, but some parents leave more of a mark than others.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an ABC podcast. |
| 0:05.8 | A quick warning, this episode touches on the topic of suicide. Take care while listening. |
| 0:16.3 | Mandy's mother has always had a controlling streak. When she was 10 years old, her mom got a job at her school, which is a bit of a nightmare |
| 0:23.6 | scenario for most kids anyways, but her mother used her presence in a peculiar way. |
| 0:29.6 | My mother was telling me who I was and I wasn't allowed to be friends with. |
| 0:33.6 | She was prohibiting most people I made friends with. So she would actually leave her |
| 0:39.1 | post during my lunchtime to see who I was hanging out with and if I was following her orders. |
| 0:45.5 | Mandy quickly realized this wasn't normal. Because I was like, well, nobody else's mom is coming in |
| 0:50.3 | here and checking to see who they're friends with. In her teens, Mandy's mother threw her a big, expensive birthday party, which doesn't |
| 0:57.8 | sound so bad, but she really, really didn't want one. |
| 1:02.3 | So in Brazil, we have a tradition where we have a large party when somebody is 15 and they're |
| 1:08.0 | coming in to be a woman and et cetera. |
| 1:10.2 | It's usually a very expensive party. |
| 1:11.6 | I kept telling her, I really don't want to do this and she said, no, but I'm missing out on this experience. |
| 1:17.6 | And it was funny because it's very clearly a party that's not for the parent, it's for the child. |
| 1:24.6 | And so she set up this whole party, did it all from her own way. |
| 1:28.6 | And, you know, that's not completely unhealthy in and of itself. But when you notice that in a |
| 1:33.0 | pattern of behavior, it becomes very interesting. Mandy's now in her late 20s. And until a few |
| 1:39.1 | years ago, her mother was still trying to control what she wore, going as far as to pre-approve what she could buy. |
| 1:46.7 | There was one day where I was wearing an outfit that she didn't like the combination, |
| 1:51.6 | and she started freaking out to the point where she went up to the door and blocked my exit. |
| 1:58.1 | She would not allow for me to leave the house. And she seemed so genuinely |
... |
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