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Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

The Courage to be Disappointed: Giving Up Covert Control for Marital Growth || Room for Two Teaser!

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4978 Ratings

🗓️ 18 January 2022

⏱️ 15 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Rick and Sarah are really good at hiding. Rick hides behind his nice guy persona—he has learned through experience that if he keeps Sarah comfortable enough, he will maximize the chances of getting sex. So, he skirts around the truth and keeps his honest thoughts to himself in an attempt to keep the boat from rocking. Sarah has fully bought into this dynamic and pushes for Rick’s accommodation. She knows the part to play, plays it well, and takes refuge in fading into the background and letting Rick take care of her. While this one-up/one-down dynamic has created an amicable enough marriage, it hasn’t created much passion or intimacy. In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife meets again with Rick and Sarah to discuss how they can create a more equal and strong partnership by both bringing more courage and honesty to their relationship. Don't forget to subscribe to the Room for Two podcast! To learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s work, visit our Website, check out our Course Page, and take a look at our upcoming Events. You can also follow Dr. Finlayson-Fife on Instagram or join her FREE Facebook Group for greater access to her insights. The advice offered through Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s Podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information.  It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care.  Although Dr. Finlayson-Fife is a trained psychotherapist, she is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these sessions, but rather using her training to inform these sessions.  Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment.  The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever.  The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease.  The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The following podcast is an excerpt from Jennifer's new podcast called Room for Two.

0:09.0

This podcast features coaching sessions with real clients who are working through issues in their

0:13.6

emotional and sexual relationships. You'll get to hear real wisdom from Dr.

0:18.2

Finlase and Fife, who is uniquely qualified to help couples who grew up in sexually conservative environments

0:25.0

to overcome their relational and sexual roadblocks.

0:28.6

The podcast can be downloaded and listened to at any time, making it convenient to access Dr Finlason Fife's work and insights.

0:36.7

If you want to learn more about this new podcast, follow the link in the show notes below

0:41.7

to visit the website and subscribe.

0:46.0

So maybe you guys can bring me back to the scene of the accident, the collision, and tell me maybe if you can remember this enough, like how you each remember that moment so I can better see it myself.

1:04.0

He was getting ready to go out of town.

1:08.0

So there was a lot going on and you know we had talked about oh before you go out of town we need to have sex

1:15.9

before you leave and but then things just kept coming up and yeah it just did not become a priority for me. It didn't become a priority for you.

1:29.5

Yeah. We had moments of intimate connection, just not sex, I guess.

1:38.0

So I was feeling connected and bonded and fine with him leaving, I guess.

1:46.4

Was there a certain point in which you decided

1:49.2

this is not gonna happen?

1:50.9

Sarah, like was there a certain point

1:52.0

where you kind of just knew this is not going to happen or I don't think it's worth the time to make it happen?

1:57.6

Can you think of a moment where you sort of knew that was the reality for you Sarah? Yeah. I mean he had something like 45

2:09.5

minutes. I had a meeting to get to.

2:12.8

Yeah.

2:13.8

And I was like, well, we've been talking for, we talked too long or something.

...

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