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Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

The Count Is A Murderer with Jonny Svarzbein

Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Lizard People

Paranormal, Religion & Spirituality, Conspiracytheory, Conspiracy, Comedy

41.2K Ratings

🗓️ 24 March 2023

⏱️ 74 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

One new world order! Two new world orders! HA HA HA! This week we've got funniest man in the world Jonny Svarzbein in the Lizard Lair, with a theory that will either ruin your childhood or make perfect sense. Jonny suspects that The Count, beloved Sesame Street character, is actually a vampire who's killing kids and is also a member of the... ahem... "cosmopolitan elites". Could the beloved kids show character be just another blood libel? Is Santa actually Christian? Who's actually watching shows on Tubi? And why won't you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street??

Transcript

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0:00.0

Do you, does it feel different having two kids and having one kid like do you feel more like

0:21.7

a dad?

0:22.7

Yes.

0:23.7

Because especially since he's so little and he's breastfeeding like 90% of the time I feel

0:28.5

like a single dad with wealth just like get him up, take him to school, come home, do

0:34.3

all the cleaning, do all the dishes and the laundry and all that and then you know in

0:39.9

a couple hours that I have, go back and pick him up, come back, play with him for an hour,

0:44.0

put him down, finish up whatever I did for the hour and a half, two hours that he's asleep,

0:50.0

get his lunch, wake him up, take him to whatever appointment he has or six flags which he

0:54.0

loves.

0:55.1

And then bring him home or take him to his grandma's house, Jackie's mom lives here

1:02.1

now and then I feed the dog, I walk the dog and then I make him dinner and then when

1:10.1

he's done we have like 20 minutes to play and then I either give him a bath or we go

1:15.3

to bed and then I take over the little guy and then it's bedtime.

1:20.6

Wow.

1:22.0

Hey, you're your proper dad, that's full dad.

1:25.1

Yeah, it's full, it's full on dad mode schedule.

1:29.2

What does turbo dad, yeah, what kind of what kind of meals are you cooking for the kid?

1:36.2

Well, he's he has autism spectrum disorders.

1:38.9

So he's very picky about what he puts in his mouth.

1:41.8

He'll give everything a kiss and make a face and put it down.

1:45.5

But like when he and his mouth and chewing, it's almost all crunchy stuff.

...

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