The Cost of Being a “Good Girl”
Over 50 & Flourishing with Dominique Sachse
Dear Media
4.6 • 813 Ratings
🗓️ 21 July 2025
⏱️ 59 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In today’s episode, Dominique sits down with award-winning researcher and best-selling author Dr. Chelle McQuaid, whose work dives deep into how women can break free from lifelong patterns of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and silencing themselves to keep others comfortable.
From early childhood conditioning to the cultural expectations still placed on women today, Dr. Chelle shares surprising insights from her global research, including the role estrogen plays in helping us shed the "good girl" persona and step into a more authentic, empowered self.
In this episode, Dominique and Dr. Chelle discuss:
- How “good girl” conditioning begins in childhood and gets reinforced in adulthood
- The connection between menopause and breaking free from self-silencing behaviors
- Why women often struggle with setting boundaries and asking for what they need
- The three biggest ways the “good girl” mindset shows up: perfectionism, people-pleasing, and emotional suppression
- How self-compassion, secure self-attachment, and self-leadership can change everything
- Why “not yet” can be the most powerful phrase for growth
- A calming somatic practice (the “butterfly hug”) to ground yourself in moments of fear or self-doubt
For more on Angela:
- Listen to her podcast, The Good Girl Gamechangers Podcast
- Visit her website: https://shop.thegoodgirlgamechangers.com/
Thanks to my Sponsors:
- Visit Carawayhome.com/flourishing or use code flourishing at checkout to take an additional 10% off your next purchase.
- Use code DOMINIQUE at monarchmoney.com in your browser for half off your first year. That’s 50% off your first year at monarchmoney.com with code DOMINIQUE.
Keep in Touch:
- Website: https://dominiquesachse.tv/
- Book: https://dominiquesachse.tv/book/
- Insta: https://www.instagram.com/dominiquesachse/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DominiqueSachse/
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dominiquesachse?lang=en
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dominiquesachsetv
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a dear media production. |
| 0:14.1 | Are you sick of being a good girl? |
| 0:16.0 | You know, the one who says yes to everything when deep inside her heart is saying no. |
| 0:22.2 | Today's episode is going to free you from the need to please and help you discover your true authentic voice. Dr. Shel McQuaid's |
| 0:28.8 | blend of personal evolution, rigorous science, and warm storytelling will not only help explain why we've |
| 0:34.5 | all been conditioned to be such good girls, but also why it's important |
| 0:38.2 | to break free from expectations to please perform and protect. Get ready for a conversation that |
| 0:44.9 | gets to the heart of over 50 and flourishing. Hello, Shell. It's good to see you, and thank you for getting up so stinking bright and early. What time is it in Melbourne, Australia? |
| 0:59.6 | It's 7 a.m. Dom, so I'm not going to lie. There's not a long time since I rolled out of bed. So we'll see how the brain goes. |
| 1:06.1 | Well, you look amazing for 7 a.m. That's all I have to say. Thank you. Thank you for getting up early for us |
| 1:12.0 | gals on over 50 and flourishing. We so appreciate you. And I'm just so excited to pick your brain |
| 1:18.2 | because you talk about and you have a podcast called The Good Girl Game Changers podcast. |
| 1:23.9 | And I love it because I think we're all sort of recovering good girls. And I say that lightly, right? |
| 1:30.4 | I mean, you know, it's sort of an oxymoron. Well, wait a second, don't we all want to be good girls, right? |
| 1:35.6 | But we've been good girls to a fault. And that's your deep dive. So kind of launch into a little bit |
| 1:42.6 | about you and how you started this podcast and messaging. |
| 1:46.2 | Yeah, I think like you, Dom, and I'm sure many of your listeners, I am a reforming good girl |
| 1:52.4 | as the way I like to describe it. And for me, that journey, as for so many of us, started really |
| 1:57.6 | early in childhood. My memory is being about five years old, going with my |
| 2:02.6 | mum to the supermarket. She was a single mother, a school teacher. And so there wasn't a lot of |
| 2:07.8 | money in our house. And if there was about 40 cents left at the end of the supermarket shop, |
| 2:12.6 | you got to take that 40 cents and buy a book because being a school teacher, books were |
... |
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