The Chocolate Condom
Secret Mum Club with Sophiena
Audio Always
4.8 • 603 Ratings
🗓️ 3 March 2026
⏱️ 42 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
A chocolate mix-up causes absolute chaos this week, as one listener mistakes something very unexpected for a sweet treat. Soph and Emma also tackle school worries and friendship anxiety, share a park trip gone wrong (including an ice cream injury), and unpack some brilliantly awkward things kids have said at the worst possible moment.
Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Wait, hold on. |
| 0:05.7 | I need your attention because we have some huge news. |
| 0:09.7 | It's big. |
| 0:11.6 | Bigger than my bucket crutch. |
| 0:13.5 | And that's big. |
| 0:14.8 | Even bigger than Jojo's love for teenage mutant ninja turtles. |
| 0:17.5 | Well, you've been asking for it, so we're going to be heading. |
| 0:20.7 | Back on the |
| 0:21.8 | stage for another Secret Mum Club Live Show. There's going to be plenty of secrets. Perhaps a couple of |
| 0:32.4 | party games. And maybe a few surprise guests. So mark your calendars because on the 20th of May, |
| 0:38.6 | we'll be live at Bush Hall in London for one girly night only, |
| 0:43.3 | so you better buckle up, bitches. |
| 0:45.5 | Tickets are on sale right now, |
| 0:47.7 | so head to our socials for more info and the link to buy tickets. |
| 0:51.2 | We can't wait to see you there. |
| 0:53.0 | Now, back to the episode. |
| 0:59.0 | Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And this podcast is a safe |
| 1:04.2 | space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, |
| 1:08.0 | don't we? We do. And as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. |
| 1:12.2 | You can keep that to yourself, you can be anonymous. |
| 1:13.7 | And all those secrets can be serious or silly. |
| 1:16.1 | All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Club. |
... |
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