The Art of Good Communication
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 7 October 2025
⏱️ 56 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Conversations with the people we love can feel harder than ever, but small shifts in how we listen and speak can completely transform your connections. I talk with New York Times bestselling author Charles Duhigg (Supercommunicators, The Power of Habit) about how to navigate tricky conversations, build trust, and create deeper connection in dating, relationships, friendships, and family.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I am so excited to welcome such an incredible guest onto the podcast today. Charles Duhigg. He is a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, writer at The New Yorker, New York Times bestselling author of his book, Super Communicators, which we're going to talk a lot about today. Also, the author of The Power of Habit. |
| 0:21.3 | Charles Duhigg, welcome to seeing other people. Thanks for having me. This is such a treat. |
| 0:26.8 | Does it feel like it's you, like when I read those things off? Because that is an incredible |
| 0:33.0 | resume, and that's only scratching the surface of what you've done. You're leaving off all the failures. |
| 0:38.3 | And so it's very kind of you to focus on the successes rather than the failures. |
| 0:43.3 | And if you were to ask my wife or my kids, they'd be like, oh, no, those failures way, way outweigh all the successes. |
| 0:50.3 | But they lead you there. |
| 0:52.3 | Exactly. |
| 0:53.3 | Exactly. We try our best to focus on the successes. But they lead you there. Exactly. Exactly. We try, we try our best to focus on the |
| 0:56.6 | positive. Well, I appreciate that. I can't wait to talk to you about communication. Obviously, |
| 1:04.3 | when it comes to dating and relationships, friendships, really every type of relationship you'll |
| 1:08.2 | ever have. Communication is the number one thing that can make or break you. |
| 1:13.0 | So when it comes to super communicators, first of all, what is a super communicator? |
| 1:20.3 | And second of all, would you consider yourself one? |
| 1:48.4 | Well, okay, so let me ask you a question. So if you were having a bad day and you wanted to call someone who, you know, just talking to them would make you feel better, do you know who you would call? Does that person pop into your head? I, yes. I would call one of my best friends Sarah Kurtwin. Okay. So for you, |
| 1:53.2 | Sarah is a super communicator. And you're probably a super communicator back to her. Like, you know how to ask the right questions. You know how to show that you're listening. You know when she needs like |
| 1:57.7 | some practical advice and when she just needs to sort of vent and get it off her |
| 2:01.7 | chest. We are all super communicators at one time or another. It's because our brains have evolved |
| 2:07.2 | to be so good at communication. But there are some people who are consistent super communicators, |
| 2:11.6 | people who can do this with anyone who the relationship that you have with Sarah, they can |
| 2:15.6 | strike that up with a stranger on the bus or |
| 2:17.9 | coworkers. And what we found is that there's nothing special about those people. They're not more |
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