Am I Settling or Just Being Realistic?
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 9 October 2025
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this solo episode, I get vulnerable about a big life change I’m going through and what it’s teaching me about growth, and timing. I break down two listener scenarios: one from someone in a long-term relationship wondering if they’re settling because the spark feels missing, and another from a single listener questioning whether to lower their standards or stay single while searching for someone who truly excites them. We unpack the difference between healthy standards and unrealistic checklists, attraction versus compatibility, and how to trust yourself when it comes to matters of the heart.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Does anyone else leave their coffee out like all morning? |
| 0:06.5 | Like I'll make it. |
| 0:07.6 | I'll have a few sips of it. |
| 0:09.9 | And then hours later I'll go back and I'll just have it cold. |
| 0:13.5 | Am I crazy for doing that? |
| 0:15.1 | That's what I'm doing right now. |
| 0:16.7 | And I don't mind it. |
| 0:18.1 | It's kind of like iced coffee now. |
| 0:20.1 | Just not that cold. I don't know. |
| 0:23.3 | That's just me. Hi guys. Welcome back for another solo episode of seeing other people. I have been |
| 0:31.6 | really enjoying doing solos lately. Partially, I want to do them and I feel like I need to do them because I had the move. I have |
| 0:41.1 | traveling. It's just a really busy time of year for me. But at the same time, you guys keep |
| 0:47.2 | sending in amazing, relatable questions that I really want to answer. So as long as you keep sending them in, I'm going to keep |
| 0:56.8 | doing solo Q&A episodes. So I hope that makes us all happy. I am sitting here right now in my |
| 1:06.7 | original apartment. This is probably the last episode I will record here. And that's really crazy. |
| 1:14.2 | They're moving boxes all around me. And before we get into the questions of the day, |
| 1:19.9 | I kind of just want to share like how this has been for me. When this comes out, I will have moved. |
| 1:32.3 | And I'm really excited. |
| 1:34.5 | I'm so excited to be on the other side of that. |
| 1:37.9 | This has been really hard. |
| 1:40.0 | Like, it's been a pretty tough few weeks for me from going from, you know, mid-August having |
| 1:47.2 | zero desire or idea in the world that we were going to move because we weren't looking |
... |
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