The 90-Second Bonding Loop | Social Intel Brief

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 16 October 2025

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ever had a five-minute conversation that felt like you’d known someone for years? That’s not luck — it’s a loop. In this short, high-impact episode, AJ and Johnny break down the 90-second formula for instant connection. You’ll learn how to spot subtle “bids” for attention, validate emotional cues, and shift conversations from surface-level small talk to real trust and rapport. This isn’t networking fluff — it’s a science-backed conversational loop you can use in meetings, dates, sales calls, or social events to turn polite chats into powerful relationships. Whether you want to build influence, deepen trust fast, or simply stop missing connection opportunities, this episode gives you a repeatable framework to make conversations stick. What to Listen For [00:00:00] The 90-second loop for instant connection [00:00:31] Why polite conversations fall flat [00:00:52] What a “bid” is and how to spot it [00:02:06] How validation lowers threat and builds trust [00:03:14] The “we” bridge — shifting from me vs. you [00:04:51] Real-world example: meeting someone new at an event [00:07:21] Using the loop in client and sales conversations [00:09:20] Emotional signals to listen for (and mirror) [00:11:24] How “we statements” build subconscious connection [00:12:32] The micro step — why small, soon, and specific wins [00:14:14] Common mistakes that break connection [00:16:38] Final recap: Spot. Validate. Bridge. Micro step. A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You know, some people think OCD is just about keeping your house super clean.
0:03.6	That stereotype drives me crazy. Real OCD creates these unwanted intrusive thoughts about
0:09.6	stuff you actually care about, like your social life. Exactly. It makes you doubt whether
0:14.2	people actually like you or you're terrified. You accidentally offended someone. You spend
0:18.6	hours replaying conversations looking for proof you're not a
0:22.0	terrible person. And those thoughts get so overwhelming. You start doing all these behaviors to make
0:26.7	them stop, like mentally reviewing every interaction or trying to cancel negative thoughts with
0:31.4	positive ones before you see friends. But here's the thing. The doubts and fears just come back
0:36.7	even stronger. It isolates you from the
0:38.9	connections that make life worth living. That's where NOCD comes in. They're the world's leading
0:43.9	provider of OCD treatment and all of their therapists specialize in ERP therapy. That's exposure
0:49.7	and response prevention. Not regular talk therapy, which actually makes OCD worse. NOCD does live face-to-face
0:57.6	virtual sessions, where they teach you proven techniques to manage intrusive thoughts and reclaim your
1:02.8	confidence. It's 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans, and you get support
1:09.5	between sessions so you're not facing this alone.
1:12.8	If you think OCD might be holding you back, go to NOCD.com and book a free 15-minute call.
1:19.7	That's N-O-C-D.com.
1:22.6	Ever had a five-minute conversation that felt like you'd known that person for years?
1:28.8	That's not luck.
1:34.6	It's actually a loop. And today, we're going to give you the exact 90-second sequence to create that feeling on command. And the best part, it works everywhere. Work, dates, teams, your neighbors.
1:42.1	We're going to share exactly how to turn a chat into a memorable connection.
1:53.7	Here's the problem.
	...

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