The 1987 Penis Pump Buyers Guide

Distorted View Daily

Tim Henson

Comedy Fiction, Society & Culture, Relationships, Personal Journals, Improv, Fiction, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 25 July 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I’ve got a Best-Of show to hold you over until today’s new episode drops in the afternoon! Segments 1. Opening News Story: Local News Anchor Eats Cat Vomit 2. Main Topics 3. Listener Voicemails Quote: “Honestly, ladies, you gotta be pretty fucking special to be considered jerk-off material in this day and age.” Caller 1: […]

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Tim popping in here to announce we have got a best of show for your Friday.
0:06.2	Don't worry, I will be back later today with a brand new episode of DV.
0:10.7	I just need a little extra time.
0:13.7	I'm thinking most likely the new episode will be posted in the afternoon, so continue to check your feed.
0:20.9	Right now, though, I've got a great classic episode of DV.
0:25.6	This one was originally a sideshow exclusive episode, so if you're not a side show
0:31.0	member, well, then this episode of DV still could be new to you.
0:35.9	Ting!
0:36.7	It's a very fun episode featuring an 80s gay porn star, walking us through the various
0:42.9	models of penis pumps he has endorsed.
0:46.5	That's how the show starts, and it's pretty much downhill from there.
0:50.2	All right, so sit back, enjoy this piece of shit.
0:54.0	No, not a piece of shit.
0:56.1	Enjoy this old vintage heirloom edition of DV,
1:01.2	and I will be back later today with a brand new episode.
1:05.9	Distorted View Daily proudly presents a local local news anchor mistakenly eating cat vomit.
1:14.8	Sorry, fucking idiot.
1:17.0	Yes, a local news anchor mistakenly eating cat vomit.
1:23.1	Look, you live great nuts all over here.
1:25.2	What is happening?
1:25.9	Come on.
1:26.6	Clean up. Let's go to the roads. I can't believe you just ate that. You can't? I believe it. They're a little soggy. It is elephant that you are crazy. They taste like shoes. Oh. I smell. I smell. I smell. You are crazy. You just ate that right off the floor. Oh, I don't think those are great. Oh, boy. I don't think those are crazy. You just ate that right off the floor.
	...

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