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Bitch Bible

That's So Not Raven

Bitch Bible

PodcastOne

Talk Radio, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.614.6K Ratings

🗓️ 14 March 2017

⏱️ 29 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jackie breaks down The Bachelor, Mischa Barton's potential sex tape, answers listener emails and offers up some signature brutal honesty.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi everyone, Sup bitches, it's me Jackie Shimmel, writer and creator of blog TurnPodcast,

0:18.0

the bitch bible.

0:19.6

I am sitting on my sofa, mouth, a gap, a gate.

0:27.7

English is not my strong suit.

0:29.8

I just finished watching the bachelor.

0:33.2

All three hours of it, we couldn't condense that shit to 30 minutes.

0:36.9

I mean, for fuck's sake, there's so much scenic shots.

0:40.5

I mean, it's pretty, but it's Finland.

0:43.4

I'm over it.

0:46.1

Spoiler alert, if you haven't watched the finale, don't listen to this.

0:50.8

I mean, if you don't know who won by now, I don't know if you're like Amish or churning

0:55.6

butter or living in a cave or whatever, but you should probably know.

1:00.2

It was Vanessa.

1:01.9

There you have it, putting it out on the table.

1:04.3

I would just like to say, every fucking year, I beg people not to send me spoilers.

1:12.0

And I understand that, you know, people are going to do what they're going to do.

1:15.0

I stay off social media.

1:17.2

I only check private messages.

1:20.7

I think the username was Maddie something.

1:24.5

To the Maddie person that sent me the spoiler at 6.30pm Pacific time, I want you to go

1:31.5

fuck yourself, okay?

1:33.6

Because that is the meanest thing to deprive me of my Monday night suspense.

...

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