Tenderoni Hotline #8: From Self-Abandonment to Self-Love: Ending Emotional Outsourcing with Mary Jelkovsky

Feminist Wellness

Béa Victoria Albina

Lifecoaching, Mental Health, Holistic, Feminist, Self-improvement, Fatigue, Alternative Health, Feelingstuckinlife, Spirituality, Healthygut, Health & Fitness, Mindbodyconnection, Guthealth, Connectionsbetweenthoughtsandhealth, Education, Ibs, Gutmicrobiome, Feminism

4.9 • 988 Ratings

🗓️ 24 November 2025

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Tenderoni Hotline #8: This week on Feminist Wellness, I’m joined by the wise and wonderful Mary Jelkovsky, author, podcast host, and founder of Mary’s Cup of Tea, for a deep and playful conversation on healing emotional outsourcing, letting go of perfectionism, and reclaiming your self-worth. We explore how so many of us were conditioned to earn love by being agreeable, productive, or self-sacrificing, especially those of us who are eldest daughters, children of immigrants, or socialized as women in patriarchal systems.

Together, we unpack the invisible pressure to be “good” and how it robs us of self-trust, the link between people-pleasing and nervous system dysregulation, and the cultural and generational stories that shape codependency and first-gen expectations. We talk about how to stop managing other people’s feelings and come back to your own, how projection shows up in relationships, and the power of presence work in interrupting old survival patterns.

You’ll laugh, reflect, and walk away with new insights into how emotional outsourcing shows up in your life and what it truly means to begin choosing you.

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsouring here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Check out Mary’s podcast: Mary’s Cup of Tea: www.maryscupoftea.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina.
0:18.3	I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism,
0:21.7	and codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love. Let's get started.
0:31.1	Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well. This week we have a very special guest here on the podcast. Mary Jilkovsky is the
0:42.2	host of Mary's Cup of Tea. She is an author, a retreat host, and just an all-around amazing woman.
0:49.5	And I am so grateful to have her on the show with us. We were going to have a conversation about her work,
0:55.5	but she kind of ended up interviewing me a bit. It was so much fun. And I can't wait to share
1:01.0	this conversation with you. I hope you enjoyed as much as I did. Take it away us. Hello, Mary.
1:07.9	Hi, Bea. Hi, hi. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you for having me. I'm
1:14.1	really deeply honored. We had a couple conversations on my podcast, and I'm excited to, I will take any
1:20.6	opportunity to talk with you, honestly. You are such a, you're just so amazing. Well, will you tell the good
1:25.8	people a little more about your work and
1:28.3	what brought you to be on this microphone with us? Well, I am Mary, better known as Mary's
1:35.0	cup of tea on the internet. I sadly do not sell tea. I get asked that a lot, especially when
1:42.4	like a server takes my credit card at a restaurant,
1:44.5	they'll look at it and be like, Mary's Cup of Tea, do you have a tea store?
1:47.6	And the answer is no, though I did try.
1:51.0	I just got really overwhelmed by the process.
1:54.8	Like the tea world is a whole other world and they are snobby.
1:58.3	They are snobby.
1:59.9	It's like wine or coffee, you know, you get deep into it.
2:03.1	And people are like, oh, is this from the Himalayas? And I'm like, I don't know. It's just tea. Anyway,
	...

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