Tenderoni Hotline #14: Why You Feel Off After Talking to Your Mom + Why You Pull Your Hair Without Realizing + Why You Can’t Stay Present
Feminist Wellness
Béa Victoria Albina
4.9 • 988 Ratings
🗓️ 6 January 2026
⏱️ 14 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.
In today’s episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that illuminate just how deeply our nervous systems are wired to protect us, even when those protections feel confusing or frustrating.
First, why do I feel anxious and disoriented after talking to my mom, even when the conversation seemed “fine”? We’ll explore how old relational patterns, emotional labor, and unspoken survival strategies can leave your body braced and buzzing long after you hang up.
Next, we unpack what’s really going on when you pull your hair without realizing it. If you’ve ever felt ashamed about this, please know you are not broken. You’ll learn how body-focused behaviors like hair pulling can be unconscious attempts to regulate or ground when your system doesn’t have other tools.
Finally, we explore what it means to be physically present, but mentally checked out. If you’ve felt like you’re watching your life from a distance or constantly lagging behind real time, this conversation on dissociation and functional freeze will help you understand why, and what you can do about it.
You’ll walk away with insight, compassion, and nervous-system-centered practices to support your healing from the inside out. So grab your coziest blanket, pour a warm drink, and come settle into the tenderness with me.
Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina. |
| 0:18.3 | I'll show you how to get unst stuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, |
| 0:21.7 | and codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love. Let's get started. |
| 0:32.0 | Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well. Welcome this week's tenderoni hotline and thank you to |
| 0:41.2 | Billy who gave me that amazing name for this new segment if you're enjoying it let me know give the show a |
| 0:47.8 | five star rating and review holler on instagram and hey if you haven't picked up your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing my new book, |
| 0:56.0 | I'd be so grateful if you did. We are in this really critical first few months after publication |
| 1:01.6 | where you tell the publisher that you want more feminist work. You want more feminist takes |
| 1:08.9 | on old tropes like codependency, perfectionism, and people pleasing. |
| 1:12.8 | You want more work in this really challenging time that's more compassionate, caring, and loving. |
| 1:20.0 | If you want this book to end up in your public library and you've got the money to buy it, |
| 1:26.0 | I really want to encourage you to pick a copy or 12 up now. |
| 1:30.0 | This isn't about me making more money. |
| 1:32.8 | That's not, I don't make more money if you buy a copy. |
| 1:36.4 | What does happen is that the book is more likely to actually get printed again |
| 1:40.7 | and actually end up in more bookstores and libraries where it can help the people |
| 1:45.5 | who need it most, which is the reason I spent the last five years writing it. So if you are able, |
| 1:51.4 | I'd be so grateful. If you bought the book, left a review on Amazon and Goodreads. You don't have to |
| 1:57.1 | buy it there. Grateful, grateful. All right, that's enough out of me. Let's get to your |
| 2:02.0 | questions. Tia 28 in Charlotte writes, I can have a perfectly pleasant conversation with my mom. |
| 2:07.7 | Nothing bad happens. No fighting, no drama, and I still get off the phone, feeling anxious, |
| 2:13.3 | weird, and wired. My chest is tight. I feel on edge irritable. It doesn't make sense because the call |
... |
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