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Feminist Wellness

Tenderoni Hotline #11: Why Saying No Feels So Hard + Why You Overexplain + How to Protect Your Energy This Holiday Season

Feminist Wellness

Béa Victoria Albina

Lifecoaching, Mental Health, Holistic, Feminist, Self-improvement, Fatigue, Alternative Health, Feelingstuckinlife, Spirituality, Healthygut, Health & Fitness, Mindbodyconnection, Guthealth, Connectionsbetweenthoughtsandhealth, Education, Ibs, Gutmicrobiome, Feminism

4.9988 Ratings

🗓️ 16 December 2025

⏱️ 18 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tenderoni Hotline #11: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.

 

In today’s episode, we’re diving into three listener questions that so many of us face, especially during the holiday season when old patterns and roles come rushing back.

 

First, why do I feel so guilty every time I say no during the holidays? We’ll explore why guilt isn’t always what it seems, and how your nervous system might be misreading safety and danger based on old programming. You'll learn how to recognize when guilt is actually fear and how to respond with compassion and clarity.

 

Next, we unpack why you overexplain your decisions to family and others. If every boundary you set comes with footnotes, this segment is for you. You’ll learn how childhood experiences can lead to this habit and how to start saying less, not more, without shame or shutdown.

 

Finally, we answer: how can I protect my energy during the holidays without avoiding everyone? I’ll guide you through somatic tools and practical strategies to help you stay grounded, present, and connected to yourself and to what really matters.

 

You’ll walk away with insight, support, and simple nervous-system-centered practices you can use right away. So grab your coziest blanket, pour a warm drink, and come settle into the tenderness with me.

 

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

 

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsouring here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Apply to my group coaching program, Anchored: Overcoming Codependency:

https://beatrizalbina.com/anchored/

 

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

 

Episode 85 - Guilt Guilt Guilt: beatrizalbina.com/85

Mentioned in this episode:

Buy Your Copy of End Emotional Outsourcing Today!

Please support the book by reviewing it on Amazon or Goodreads. It helps the book reach more folks who are still living in old survival patterns and don’t have language for it yet. Drop your screenshot at beatrizalbina.com/book and you’ll get access to thank-you gifts and raffles for free breathwork sessions, coaching, and audiobook copies. I appreciate you more than you know. Get your copy today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

EEO Pre-Sale

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, cutie, before we start today, I want to tell you a tiny secret about the book world that still

0:05.0

blows my mind. Publishers don't print mountains of books. They print a wee modest stack and wait to see

0:11.4

if people care enough to keep that stack alive. You are the signal they listen to. You, when you buy a

0:18.9

copy or 10 for your holiday gifting, you're telling them this work matters.

0:23.9

When you, yes, you leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads, even if your copy came from your local

0:29.4

independent bookstore or your library, you're telling them this book needs to stay in the world.

0:35.7

When you leave a review, take a screenshot and head to Beatricealbina.com

0:39.6

slash book. You'll find breathwork, audiobook giveaway, and even coaching raffles waiting for you.

0:47.7

Thank you for doing your part. I appreciate you.

1:06.2

This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina.

1:09.9

I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and codependency

1:14.1

so you can live from your beautiful heart.

1:17.0

Welcome, my love.

1:17.9

Let's get started.

1:24.8

Hello, hello, my love.

1:26.3

I hope this finds you doing so well.

1:29.4

Welcome to the Tenderoni Hotline, Holiday Edition.

1:33.2

I'm going to be answering two listener questions right from y'all.

1:36.8

To me.

1:37.7

I'm so excited to answer these questions because they're really good ones.

1:40.7

Because this thing happens when we go home for the holidays.

1:43.6

We're like living our own

...

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