Teaching a Child to Control His Feelings

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 30 December 2019

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A parent writes that her toddler is very aware of his emotions and even has several strategies to cope with the negative ones. One of these strategies is going to his room by himself. While this mom is “happy that he is aware of his emotions and (usually) redirects them before causing harm or throwing a full-blown tantrum,” she struggles with how long to let him isolate. She worries she may be encouraging him to mope or empowering his sour attitude. “I wonder if we should be more assertive in having him try alternative strategies.” Janet offers her perspective and advice. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Janet Landsbury, welcome to Unruffled.
0:05.7	Today I'm responding to questions about a child developing emotional self-control and
0:13.4	parents that are concerned that they might be encouraging their child to moep or have
0:19.1	a sour attitude.
0:24.1	Here's the note I received.
0:25.7	Hi Janet, I'm a huge fan of the podcast.
0:28.3	It is one of the first things we recommend to new parents nowadays.
0:32.1	I'm writing with a question about our soon-to-be-three-year-old.
0:35.4	He has great awareness of his own emotions and freely describes them to us, both the positive
0:40.8	and the negative.
0:42.4	We often talk with him about how to express and work through his negative emotions, and
0:47.2	he chimes in with all kinds of strategies of his own, counting to ten, stomping his feet,
0:52.8	shaking a mindfulness jar, spending time alone.
0:56.6	While he describes all of his emotions and talks freely about strategies to cope with
1:00.7	them, isolating himself is the only approach he really embraces in moments of anger or sadness.
1:06.8	He'll go to his room and quietly, quote, read to himself or lay quietly with his comfort
1:12.4	blanket.
1:13.4	I'm so happy that he is aware of his emotions and, usually, redirects them before causing
1:18.6	harm or throwing a full-blown tantrum.
1:21.6	I struggle with how long to let him isolate, though.
1:24.6	He should often run more than a half-hour before he declares, I'm ready and comes to rejoin
1:29.8	the family.
	...

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