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Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Resolving a Toddler’s Aggressive Behavior (Hitting, Pushing, Hair Pulling)

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.73.8K Ratings

🗓️ 17 December 2019

⏱️ 18 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Janet responds to the parent of a 2-year-old who for the past 3 months has been “going through a really bad stage of pulling hair.” This parent describes herself as a Montessori teacher with an intense passion for gentle, respectful parenting. She has tried several strategies to change her daughter’s behavior, but to no avail. “I’m exhausted and have become extremely depressed and isolated because of this. I feel parents are judging me and not wanting to spend time with us.” She’s hoping Janet can offer some guidance, hopefully a solution. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, this is Janet Lansbury, welcome to Unruffled.

0:06.2

Today I have a question about a child who is pulling hair and the parents having difficulties

0:12.6

trying to figure out why her child is doing this and how to help.

0:17.3

And the advice I share will also apply to hitting, pushing, even biting, these other kinds

0:24.4

of impulsive behaviors that young children sometimes have.

0:28.5

Okay, here's the note I received.

0:32.7

Hi Janet, I hope you see my white flag amongst all your messages as I'm so desperate for

0:37.8

help.

0:38.8

My smart, brave and extremely sensitive two-year-old is going through a really bad stage of

0:43.8

pulling hair.

0:45.4

This has been going on for about three months now and I really don't know what to do.

0:49.5

I'm a regular listener of your podcast and have an AMA, I'm a Montessori teacher, with

0:54.5

an intense passion for gentle respectful parenting.

0:58.2

I've tried your strategies of going down to her level and firmly saying, hair pulling

1:03.0

hurts, then making sure to give the child to his hurt, comfort and role modeling to my daughter

1:09.0

how to be gentle.

1:10.7

There doesn't seem to be a trigger anymore.

1:13.1

She will run up to any child and just pull their hair.

1:17.0

She can go from playing alongside a peer to being extremely violent in a second.

1:22.6

I've left all my mom and baby groups within 10 minutes of getting there as she can easily

1:27.4

pull almost 10 children's hair in this time.

1:30.6

I'm exhausted and have become extremely depressed and isolated because of this.

...

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