Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of

executive coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the

way you want to be perceived.

I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today we're talking about taming the wild child.

Maxine was going to be a star. If she could just get out of her own way. Those were the words

on the street about Maxine. They were even her words about herself. During a coaching

session, after she had spoken the phrase once again, I asked her what it meant for her to

get in her own way. She replied without a pause, oh you've heard me do it

Tom, I suddenly start talking really fast and I can't stop, I'm just jabbering away and why is that getting in your own way I asked

because I suddenly sound like a girl and being a girl around here gets you nowhere

but that's how I feel like a jumpy teenager. When it comes over me, I'm not effective at all.

And Max, what is it that comes over you?

Oh, golly!

She took a big breath as if the list of things that came over her was long. and then she breathed out. After a minute she shook her

head and smiled and said, it's just hard work, that's all, and getting the work right is important to me. We've talked

about this, Tom. I really hate making mistakes. So when something feels important, I get

in my own way. I nodded, but didn't speak. She went on,

Isn't it ironic? I try so hard not to make mistakes that I get in my own way, which is a mistake.

What would you change if you could? I asked. in my own way, which is a mistake.

What would you change if you could? I'd stop that babbling stream of words, and I would

stop apologizing. That's another one where I kick myself later. I look back and I think, what was that? You've

known better than that since high school. What were you thinking? And the answer is, I asked.

...