Welcome back to the Look and Sound of Leadership, an ongoing series of

executive coaching tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the

way you want to be perceived. I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today

we're talking about managing trauma. Marisole, as an individual contributor had been a star.

As a reward, her organization gave her the leadership of a small three-person team. They also gave her a coach to help her begin her

leadership journey. In our coaching conversations, Marisall had shown herself to be

as adept a student about people and leadership as she seemed to be about

everything else.

One day she asked, I've mentioned Haley, haven't I?

I said yes.

Haley was one of her three direct reports. She said, I'm really annoyed with

her today about something, but I'm trying to keep the bigger picture in mind.

And what's that, I asked. I saw her try to formulate an answer and then she gave up saying

in exasperation, I don't know what to talk about with her anymore. Because why I asked. Here's an example. The other morning I'm getting dressed

it's really early and this text from her pops up and it's like a hundred words long

with all these reasons why she might not hit the deadline

on something she's supposed to deliver that day. But she says I shouldn't worry because maybe she will

hit the deadline she just wanted me to know she might not just in case oh my god

and that's just one example you should see her emails I opened one the other day

I couldn't even read it I just scrolled through it thinking what the hell is all

this and I really like her Tom I mean if she has a gripe I want to hear it but this is beyond that I don't know what to say

anymore do I talk to her about the fact that that text was really really long or

...