Surprise Swingers
Absolutely Not
Dear Media
4.9 • 14K Ratings
🗓️ 10 May 2023
⏱️ 58 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast- Heather hits the hotline and answers your voicemails about the thrills of becoming a regular at a bar, how cheering on the elderly should be a regular thing, what to do if there is a kids gifts registry for a bday party and should you break up with someone if they take you to a swingers party? She’s helping one listener at a time and questioning her own existence as to why she doesn't have a live-in hibachi chef.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a deer media production. |
| 0:06.6 | Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most in the least at the same damn time. |
| 0:12.4 | I'm your host Heather McMahon. |
| 0:21.8 | Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast. |
| 0:26.2 | I'm your host Heather McMahon. How the hell are you? |
| 0:29.2 | Hope you're feeling good. You know, hope it's, you know, it's May. |
| 0:33.2 | I hope you're feeling a little frisky, feeling like summers around the corner. |
| 0:36.9 | Probably if you're in the South, the kids are getting out of school now, |
| 0:39.9 | which means you got to immediately sign those little shits up for camp. |
| 0:43.4 | I don't know if you grew up the way I grew up, but my mom had me activity the fuck up. |
| 0:48.2 | You know, I was talking about this the other day with one of my friends. |
| 0:50.2 | She's got three boys and they're all, I mean, she got two twins that are just, |
| 0:54.0 | they're tiny, they're little, but they're rambunctious. |
| 0:56.5 | And I told, I looked at my friend and let's call her Charlotte. |
| 0:59.0 | She's not Charlotte, but let's say Charlotte. |
| 1:00.9 | As a Charlotte, I got to be honest with you. |
| 1:02.9 | I feel okay with the thought of like having a kid who's a gamer. |
| 1:07.9 | And she was like, no, no, your kids got to get out. |
| 1:09.9 | They got to be athletic, but I said, how nice is that? |
| 1:12.7 | If your kids into like World Warcraft, you know, Grand Theft Auto, |
| 1:18.0 | maybe plays Halo all day, you get to spend your entire summer in the comfort of your own home |
| 1:22.8 | on an air-conditioned couch watching the housewives. |
... |
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