Suck It, 2025 – Wet Molestation And Space Alien Sex Squirts
Distorted View Daily: NSFW Comedy, Weird News & Internet Oddities
Tim Henson
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 31 December 2025
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On Today’s Show: 🧠 Highlights & Bits 📞 Freak Interaction 🛒 Support the Show 👉 Sign up and shop at distortedview.com and shop.distortedview.com 🎉 Final Notes Tim looks back on a wild, bit-heavy year fueled by sketches, songs, and creative misuse of AI—then signs off with gratitude, delirium, and cautious optimism for more mental breakdowns […]
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Happy New Year from the Space Force. |
| 0:05.0 | The men and women of the U.S. Space Force would like to wish America a very happy new year. |
| 0:12.1 | We're working to bring the next generation of war and destruction into reality and make 2026 a futuristic dystopian nightmare for everyone around the world. |
| 0:21.7 | It's rewarding work. |
| 0:23.0 | We can't wait to laser bomb shithole villages from the comfort of the moon. |
| 0:27.4 | Ask your recruiter how. |
| 0:29.1 | From all of us. |
| 0:30.4 | Here's hoping the new year will be the pew, pew-pewiest of them all. |
| 0:38.7 | Hey, freaks, it's Wednesday, December 31st, 2025. |
| 0:42.3 | Coming up on the program today, |
| 0:43.6 | our favorite meteorologist is making extraterrestrial squirt, |
| 0:47.8 | plus checking in with the lesbian council, |
| 0:50.6 | getting stabbed by the Salvation Army Man, |
| 0:53.1 | and a most unpleasant wet molestation to be woken up to. |
| 0:57.0 | All coming up today. |
| 1:00.4 | Yes, welcome to 2025, freaky dinkies. |
| 1:03.8 | We're going to kick things off with some pornography. |
| 1:06.2 | I just feel like it might be a good luck charm for DV. |
| 1:11.4 | And it's hard to be demure when you've got vomit cakes around your mouth. |
| 1:16.9 | I don't even know why she's bothering, but okay, she's a lady. |
| 1:21.5 | Yeah. |
| 1:25.6 | That came out of my bag. |
... |
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