Strategic Toilet Breaks, Relationship Drama & Fairy P*rn! Abbey and Peter’s Ask Us Anything!
The Therapy Crouch
Therapy Crouch
4.7 • 3.7K Ratings
🗓️ 5 March 2026
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are answering your burning questions in another chaotic Ask Us Anything special - and nothing is off limits.
The pod kicks off with a listener dealing with what can only be described as “strategic bowel syndrome”, as one husband mysteriously disappears to the toilet every single time parenting duties begin. Abbey has a surprisingly brutal solution involving adult nappies, while Pete shares his own suspicious bathroom habits.
Elsewhere, the pair help a listener who’s struggling to pull at the races, debate whether it’s ever okay to stay friends with an ex, and give advice to someone whose dad has completely taken over their wedding plans after offering to pay for it.
There’s also a surprisingly deep discussion about AI robots in the home, Abbey reveals what it’s really like walking the runway as a model during fashion week, and the team share their most awkward cinema experiences – including sneaking McDonald’s into the theatre and a dog causing absolute chaos mid-movie.
And in one of the strangest dilemmas yet, Pete discovers the bizarre world of fantasy romance books, as Abbey explains why so many women are hooked on these wildly popular stories.
If you want to submit a question for the podcast – hit the link below.
00:00 Introduction
01:20 “Strategic Bowel Syndrome” Husband
04:20 Dating Advice For A Single Guy
06:00 Dad Taking Over The Wedding
08:30 Would You Have A Robot At Home?
12:05 Abbey’s Runway Advice For Models
14:10 Staying Friends With Your Ex
17:00 Dog Chaos In The Cinema
20:00 Sneaking Food Into Movies
22:00 The Rise Of Fantasy Romance Books
25:00 Romance Films vs Real Relationships
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Utter filth, I wake up to the sound of these fairies doing unspeakable things to each other. |
| 0:05.8 | There's been a huge surge in this fantasy erotica, which is like dragons and octopuses. |
| 0:12.9 | Octopuses. |
| 0:14.2 | That's so creepy. |
| 0:16.2 | You're the one talking about fairy porn. |
| 0:19.0 | You shouldn't be saying the word pussy at 45. I'll say, I'll say for as long as I like. You're going one talking about fairy porn. You shouldn't be saying the word pussy at 45. |
| 0:21.5 | I'll say, I'll say for as long as I like. |
| 0:24.7 | You want right. |
| 0:27.5 | Remember, guys, if you're really enjoying this top quality content that we're producing, |
| 0:31.4 | hit subscribe. |
| 0:33.0 | It helps. |
| 0:33.5 | Ask me anything. |
| 0:36.3 | Show about. |
| 0:41.3 | Hello and welcome to the therapy crouch. Ask Us Anything with me, Abby Clancy Me, Peter Crouch |
| 0:42.3 | And we're still Rossless, still got our Johnny boy |
| 0:46.3 | Boo. |
| 0:48.3 | Are you enjoying being back in the hot seat? |
| 0:50.3 | No. |
| 0:51.3 | No, not really. |
| 0:52.3 | Why not? |
| 0:53.3 | Because I've got me a whole other day of work today when I finish this full days worth work. |
| 0:58.4 | So it's like double bubble. |
... |
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