Straight Outta Economy
Bitch Bible
PodcastOne
4.6 • 14.8K Ratings
🗓️ 21 July 2026
⏱️ 66 minutes
🔗️ Recording | Apple Podcasts | RSS
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Jackie is getting back to her economy roots and discusses a confrontation at Nordstrom Rack, manipulating pregnancy in her favor, and the joy of Ashley Judd’s Instagram.
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Transcript
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| 0:29.9 | Hey! Hello everyone. Welcome to the Bitch Bible. Thank you everyone who listened to my limited limited series, The Bump Bible. It came out last week if you are living in the dark |
| 0:56.5 | and you want to follow me along my pregnancy journey it starts off really adorable and then takes a |
| 1:02.4 | deep deep deep dive around week eight or nine when andrew left me for dead for the cotswolds |
| 1:07.6 | and i was tending to the child whilst in extreme agony. |
| 1:14.6 | And I don't know how much of that was real or how much of it was exaggerated for sport. |
| 1:19.8 | You know, like hindsight being 2020. |
| 1:22.2 | What I will tell you is this. |
| 1:24.5 | I got out of the shower T-minus 14 minutes ago. |
| 1:30.0 | And when I looked at the proximity of my nipples to my belly button, they are so close. They are slowly aligning like in a linear |
| 1:36.4 | format. And I'm not, I'm not trying to be funny. Like this is not a joke, which can I just |
| 1:42.4 | tell you something? The amount of people roaming this planet |
| 1:46.7 | that are not funny that have no idea that they're not funny like baffles me specifically comedians |
| 1:53.3 | like I've encountered a couple comedians recently and like unless they are sticking to a pre |
| 2:00.1 | written monologue couldn't be less funny. And I want to, like, pull them aside and be like, first of all, like, you got to get a new gig. This one isn't going to take off. You're not funny. If you're not funny for sport out in the open wild, like, how is this going to translate to a stage long term? I just don't understand. Like, |
... |
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