Here's a relationship lesson I learned too late in life.

In every moment, you are with someone, you are either being attractive, repulsive, or

neutral.

I'm sure there are gray areas, but you are being one of those attractive, repulsive, or

neutral.

And if you ask yourself the question, am I attracting or repulsing right now?

You can probably avoid a lot of negative situations with someone you care about.

It may just stop you from doing or saying something hurtful to someone you love.

For example, asking my girlfriend if she would like breakfast, I believe, is attracting.

I believe she would think, wow, that was very nice, it was a kind thing to do, to ask

me if I want breakfast, it's attractive.

But what is a repulsive gesture?

Let's just say that I made breakfast for myself without saying a word to her.

That might be repulsive, she might find that offensive, she might find that hurtful, selfish,

she might find that uncaring.

And so answering that question is what I'm doing or saying repulsive or attractive right

now.

This may not be the way you'd word it, but I think it's something to remind yourself

before you start certain conversations.

I wish I had known this many years ago, I would have shown up as a lot better partner

in my relationships and I hope this helps you in yours and this is one of the many lessons

I teach over at healedbeing.com for emotionally abusive people that want to change.

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