When someone treats you badly, what should you do? Should you roll over and take it?

Should you fight back with all your might?

And my other podcast, Love and Abuse, my goal is to help you respond to toxic words and behaviors in the healthiest way possible.

That way, you have the best chance at improving the relationship and getting out of the toxicity.

If you're looking for a way to deal with the difficult people in your life, head over to loveandabuse.com.

Life presents the toughest challenges. Every day, you are faced with decisions that test your ability to express who you really want to be in this world.

We're told to keep saying affirmations and keep thinking positively, but what do you do when that stuff doesn't work?

Welcome to the overwhelmed brain, where you'll learn to make decisions that are right for you so that you can create the life you want now.

Hello, this is Paul Coliani and I want to help you increase your emotional intelligence, handle toxic situations with grace and ease, and give you the tools to show up as your authentic self.

This show consists of my personal opinions and is meant for informational purposes only.

I've got a couple messages on parents, one of them is actually on grandparents, and I think this would be a good episode for parents slash grandparents, not necessarily for your parents.

For you, regarding your parents though, if you have any challenges with your parents, if you have any toxic ties that may need either untying or like I mentioned during what's called the pre-roll when I talked about love and abuse, the ability to respond to toxic communication and behavior in the healthiest way possible.

So I'm just going to read you a couple of messages today and we'll see where we go with them if you're having any challenge with a parent or two or even further down the line into your grandparents, anything like that, but this is really about you.

So how you show up in the world and especially in the world of family, it can determine how they show up in your life.

Some people, it doesn't matter what you do, you can't change them, and I mean that's not what my goal is for you to change them, but no matter what you do, they won't change, they won't heal, they won't care that they're hurting you or that they're toxic, they won't believe you, they won't believe that they're toxic or hurting you.

So there's, this is something that you have to accept right off the bat that there are some people that will not change, and when you accept that about people, you can stop suffering in a way, not always, but in a way you can stop suffering, because part of suffering sometimes includes staying hopeful.

Hope is a good thing when you are hoping for something good to happen, but if it's keeping you in a space of suffering where you believe that they can change and you keep waiting for them to change and you keep waiting for them to treat you nicer, more kindly, more, more respectfully.

If you're in that constant waiting state, that can be suffering, and you just continue to hope that they do it over and over again, you show up to their home day after day and hope that they treat you kinder this time, and when you're looking for something that isn't there, that is suffering, or at least a part of it.

So you have to allow the option or the possibility that someone is unchangeable, they can't see what they're doing, they can't see it as bad or toxic, and they will stay that way forever.

That might be unfair, like it sounds like I'm taking away the option of them changing.

I believe it's easier to take that option away, I mean from you, not from them, you take the option of choosing to accept that they can change and choose to accept instead that they cannot.

I hope that came out right, but you know what I mean, if you tell yourself this person will never ever change.

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