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The Alli Worthington Show

Stop Tolerating What’s Draining You: Permission to Walk Away Without Guilt

The Alli Worthington Show

Alli Worthington

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Education, Society & Culture

4.8634 Ratings

🗓️ 19 June 2025

⏱️ 17 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Here is a truth most people avoid: Just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s faithful to your future. That friendship where you’re the unpaid therapist? That group you got guilt-tripped into joining faster than you could say, ”I guess I can help”? That job that drains your soul every Sunday night, just thinking about Monday morning? Yep. That.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, hey, here's the truth we all need to hear. Just because something is familiar doesn't mean it's supposed to stay. That draining friendship where you become the unpaid therapist? That committee you got guilted into joining faster than you can say, bless your heart. That job that makes you question your life choices every Monday morning like you're starring in your own personal disaster movie?

0:21.8

Listen, you don't need a breakdown to walk away.

0:25.5

You don't need anyone's permission, but today, I'm giving it to you anyway,

0:30.2

because apparently we all need someone to tell if it's okay to stop carrying what God never asked us to carry.

0:42.5

Music carrying what God never asked us to carry. So now here's where it gets interesting. As women, especially Christian women, we've been programmed

0:48.0

to believe that walking away from good things makes us selfish. That setting boundaries

0:53.0

makes us mean. That saying no makes us less spiritual.

0:57.3

I once had a woman tell me that boundaries weren't biblical because Jesus died for everyone.

1:01.9

I wanted to say, yeah, but he also was flipping tables when people were being ridiculous,

1:06.7

so maybe we should talk about that energy too. I mean, it wasn't quite the same, so I kept it to myself.

1:12.2

The truth is, we've confused being Christ-like with being a doormat.

1:16.1

We've mixed up compassion with compulsion.

1:19.1

We think love means absorbing everyone else's chaos like we're human sponges,

1:23.7

and then we wonder why we're all wrung out and resentful.

1:28.7

Here's what nobody tells you.

1:30.9

The people who drain you the most are often the ones who respect you the least.

1:35.4

They've learned that you'll always say yes,

1:37.8

that you'll always show up and always carry their emotional weight.

1:41.7

You've trained them to treat you like an all you can eat buffet of

1:45.5

emotional labor. And that buffet is now closed. I want to get really honest about what draining actually

1:52.7

means because I know you might be thinking, but isn't that selfish? Shouldn't I be more patient?

1:59.1

What if they really need me? I know. How do I know you're thinking these things? Because I thought them myself. Here's the truth that'll set you free. There's a difference between being helpful and being used. There's a difference between being compassionate and being compulsive. One comes from God's heart for people and the other comes from our need to be needed,

...

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